Motivational Monday: Setting Expectations For Yourself Vs. Others

I’ve recently realized how much I say yes to others for fear of letting them down. I am set a bar for their expectations and am told not to let them down and not to let someone else rise above me. Because they expect me to do better than them from the results I’ve showed in the past.

So, why do I sometimes let myself down? I find that I am not always setting the bar for myself with personal goals. I let things go unfinished, don’t follow up, leave things hanging for a week or more until I get to it again, I’ll think of ideas but not write them down. This is the complete opposite of how I act with others, but why? Why am I giving myself permission to be one way to others and another way to myself? Why don’t I put myself and my goals on a pedestal the way others do for me? I should. We all should because our dreams and ideas matter. What we do for others matters just as much as what we can and should do for ourselves.

Let yourself be seen the way others see you. The way you should show yourself to them in your best light is how you need to show up for yourself. My cousin gave me great advice to set deadlines for myself once I think of an idea. This makes sense as I always set them to get things done for others. Besides a lot of the time, if I don’t do something for myself the first time around, it will manifest in my mind until I release it.

So, will you begin setting the same expectations for yourself as you do for others? I hope so. ❤

Motivational Monday: Limiting Beliefs

Limiting beliefs are the lies we hear and tell ourselves, but it is up to us to not to listen to them. There are limiting beliefs in the world that you can only do so much. Sometimes people will tell you what’s best for you because that’s all they know. However, if you decide to expand your mind, learn new things and trust yourself, you’ll know there are no limits to what you can do. On the other hand, the limits we tell ourselves are true are there because of what we say to ourselves- “I can’t do…insert activity here.” For a long time, I told myself I couldn’t hold a plank for 90 seconds while working out. Why? Because it was hard. I limited myself. Why? Because it was easier than dealing with the pain that comes with working out. Yet, I continued to go to class four times a week, and you know what? I CAN hold a plank. I changed my mindset around the belief that I couldn’t do something to telling myself I can. And I have strong teachers who push me to do my best during class. To be honest, I don’t want to disappoint them much less myself. All of this has helped me realize, you motivate yourself first then you need to be around the people who motivate you.

In the newest thirty second Nike Ad, a women age 81 was told she was crazy for running a marathon. But guess what? She did it anyway. Why? Because she believed in herself even when no one else did. The point is you don’t have to believe everything everyone tells you. Her mantra in life is Why Not and her thoughts to those people who told her she was crazy is, “But that’s the great thing about being old. I can just pretend not to hear them.” I hope at 81 I can still be as active as her and still pretend not to hear any limiting beliefs put on by myself or others.

What you need to do to gain confidence, is push their words out of your mind. Instead of telling yourself what THEY say, tell yourself what YOU say. YOU’RE the only one who knows what you’re capable of. Once you begin to show everyone around you how confident you are and that you can do whatever it is they are saying you can’t or shouldn’t, they’ll change their minds. Put positive words and mantras in your mind and the limiting beliefs you have within yourself will start to fade.

**Remember: Time will always be there, you just have to decide when you’re going to believe in yourself, even at age 81.

What are some limiting beliefs you’ve told yourself or that you’ve heard from others?

Motivational Monday: The Story of Your Life

The other day I realized that everything and everyone has a story. Every dance you watch is telling a story, a book you read tells a story, every song you hear and out of all of those comes from a person who has lived their story and is able to share it.

Sometimes the reason that people can be so successful is because of the story that they have to share with the world. Being relatable to other’s can help people in so many ways. When it comes to my blog I have always told myself that if I can help at least one person with my content then I’m happy. My content is just a story of the world I live in. The way I see and have seen the world in just a short 31 years. I believe that because everyone has such a different view on the world, you should share what you’ve learned with others and be honest about it. By realizing the value in the story, sharing it can open many doors for you.

I believe that in life people just want to be heard, respected and loved. No one wants to be judged but by putting their story out into the world, but you will be. But by doing so you can connect on an emotional level with so many people. So, don’t be afraid to put yourself out their and share what you’ve learned because you don’t know who you’ll help in the process of sharing your story.

Motivational Monday: Don’t Compare, Be Inspired

Do you ever look at what someone else has and think, I wish I had that? Or, I wish I made that amount of money or had that car or that job or lifestyle in general? No matter what anyone else has, YOU can have a great life, too. It may not be exactly what the other person has, but you must work for what you want out of this life.

The simple fact of why no one should compare themselves to anyone is because no one is you. Even if someone else has had the same experience as you, that does not mean they are YOU. Every single person is on a different path than you. Even if someone else did the exact same things as you, that person still speaks and thinks differently.

You never REALLY know what the person you compare yourself to is really going through-their struggles, stress, etc. What that person’s life looks like to you or the outside world may be completely different behind closed doors.
Build your own life. Do things that make you happy and proud because you only get ONE life. Instead of comparing yourself to this person, ask them how they became successful-showing that you admire someone else’s hard work can be very humbling.

Tip: One of the things I love doing is following my favorite influencers on social media-specifically Instagram because they share SO MUCH about their life! They share everything from what they eat, workouts, other influencers/friends they love, to what they did to make themselves successful-even if it’s just changing their mindset.

No one wakes up one day and is successful, it takes time. We must realize that we are all on our own journey and be inspired by others to do the best we can ❤

Happy Monday! Follow me on IG & Facebook at @stylestomakeyousmile

Motivational Monday: How Small Gestures Make a Big Impact

Have you ever had a REALLY bad day, and someone recognized it and did something nice for you unexpectedly? Or have you walked into work and there was a nice note left for you written by a coworker and friend? Or have you received a text from a loved one that says, Have a great day!

It’s those unexpected small gestures that make a big impact on us. Even if a bad experience happened there are always ways to get through them. So, remember what those people who care for you, have done on a bad day or wanted to start your morning with a smile. Pass this on by doing the same for someone else. Send an I Love You text, especially to someone who is going through a rough time right now. Send a card in the mail to your friend who lives far away that says you’re thinking of them.

Remember, to do the same for yourself too, buy pretty flowers to keep in your home and put them where you’ll see them every morning before work, write yourself a note on pretty paper, keep notes from loved ones and hang them on a board where you can see them daily. Any of these will keep you remembering you are loved, happy and that you can make it through the week.

Motivational Monday: A Lesson in Quitting

This weekend I listened to a podcast called Goal Digger hosted by Jenna Kutcher episode 118: What Nastia Liukin Learned After Her Gold Medal. Nastia is a Russian American former gymnast. The number one takeaway I learned from this podcast was the lesson Nastia’s parents taught her in wanting to quit. Whenever she would have a bad day, she’d tell her parents she wanted to quit and her parents would say to her, Okay, but not today. I can totally relate to this feeling of wanting to be done with something when I’ve had a bad day, feel overworked, tired, mentally drained, etc. Once Nastia would have a good day her parents would say, Okay now you can quit. Have you ever told yourself you can quit something on a GOOD day? After hearing this on the podcast I realized this is such a great technique of reverse psychology. I’ve never thought to quit something on a good day. This goes to show what a positive and negative mindset can do for a person on a good and bad day.

So, the next time you want to quit something on a bad day, give yourself a break for the rest of the night, don’t focus on quitting, focus on bringing your mind elsewhere and staying present. And, when you have a good day, come back to the day you thought about quitting and this should make you realize if you REALLY want to quit. Everything you do will make more sense with a clear mind.

Have you ever told yourself you can quit something on a good day? Also, if you’d like to hear the entire episode from the podcast, visit iTunes and search Goal Digger.

Motivational Monday: Reality & Dreams

I spent the other night looking at photos from the past 5 years and found myself comparing my life then to what it is now. When looking back those years feel like a dream because my life is so different than before.

I thought to myself, what if someone new came into my life and looked through photos of my past? While I realized they’d know more about my past without any explanation from me, I also realized what happened then doesn’t define who I am now.

Every experience and challenge has shaped me into who I am today. This is the same for anyone, we are not who we are yesterday if we choose. But that’s the key, we have to choose who we want to be-that’s our reality. Defined by our experiences and left to dwell on the past? Or take the lessons from the past and move on, keep going and stay positive.

So, what days will you choose to have?