A Love Letter to Bloggers

Dear Bloggers,

You put your life on the line for everyone in the world to see. You create content that feeds your soul but that you know can help others. You share your personal stories; the good, difficult and personal. Every story you share will help other’s change their lives. Sharing any type of experience, you’ve endured takes courage and you have that. It’s telling yourself that you know you are not alone in what you’ve gone through. Your experience will not be the same as someone else’s, but you are a brave, strong and confident woman to share your story.

You take the positive and negative feedback along with the criticism. Everyone can give you their opinion but remember it’s only an opinion. What’s important is that you stand by your work. The work takes time, patience and thought. A new idea will appear from nowhere and must be acted upon, because if not it will continue to be manifested until released. Once released the idea may have grown from something small to more than you could have dreamed. Let go of any negative self-talk that says you can’t or shouldn’t do something and just start, that’s when all the ideas will flow. The creative process is an amazing art and it should never be washed down as if it doesn’t matter.

And you know those dreams you’ve had about the content you want to create? You should go create them. Stand up for your dreams. Be persistent in writing them all out, plan when you’ll make them happen and execute them. If you don’t, they are only dreams. Dreams were meant to become your reality, if you choose to listen to them. Visualize yourself within your dreams and take action. Dreams are your inner fantasies waiting to be released into the world. By sharing them, you open the gates to a world of people, to help them think differently and change their lives.

Being an influencer means reaching people all over the world with your work, which means you’ll gain friends from everywhere. Meeting your new friends is the best part about being an influencer because you can support each other in your work. Knowing someone else in the world can relate to what you’re going through because they’ve experienced situations like yours is important. However, not everyone will enjoy your work and that is okay, because the people who’ll stand behind you, will love you for you. This means you don’t need to compare yourself to anyone else. In fact, the more authentic you are, the more your personality will shine through. People will love you for you, so embrace those thoughts that keep running through your mind and put them into action. The harder you work at your dreams, the more likely you are to keep going. Remember, if no one ever executed their dreams, this world would be boring, so keep on making a difference.

Love Always, Amy Beth

Motivational Monday: The Permission Slip to Life

Have you ever waited for someone to give you permission to start something? I’ll bet you have. And chances are that permission that came from someone else started with an idea you had for yourself. So why do we wait so long to begin something until we have permission or continually ask others if something is good enough before we begin?

Why is it that we wait until we absolutely must do something in order to start? Until the doctor gives us permission to change the diet or to lose a job we hate before starting a job we love. Why can’t we say yes to ourselves? To the things that make us happy. Or knowing what you want to do will take work but make excuses for ourselves that we can’t do something until someone else tells us we can.

Stop letting everyone else give you permission to change your life, and just start. No one else can do the work for you. You must make time for yourself, even if it’s an hour a day. Let that time be your alone time to think about what you want for yourself. Figure out a plan of how to change yourself for the better then start it. Your happiness depends on how hard you work for yourself.
Personally, I often look to others who are already doing things I want to do. Those people will always tell you to start. Start when you have no idea what you’re doing but start because you want to. Trust that you’ll figure things out as you go. Stop waiting for someone else to tell you you’re good enough. A successful person will never look down on you for trying. They’ve been there and understand the work it takes. Everyone has had failures and successes because it’s all part of life.

I’ve also learned that if I don’t start what I want to, I’ll continually think about it repeatedly until starting. I even become angry at myself when I know I can do more. Do you ever feel that way? You have a dream for yourself and spend time avoiding it to take the easy way of life; watching TV instead of exercising, or instead of reading a book, but because you make excuses or are too tired you don’t start. I believe there is a difference in taking time for yourself with self-care and completely avoiding in what you should be starting. It’s easier to avoid than it is to start but I believe that if you start, you’ll be happier, you just have to keep going.

Today, give yourself the permission to say YES to yourself. Today, give yourself permission to believe in yourself instead of seeking approval from others. No one is going to live your life the way you will. You don’t need permission from anyone else other than yourself to start. Once you start, seek out people who’ll support you. You may find people who will criticize you, but just keep going and find people who’ll give you the same permission you give yourself, which is to keep going.

Happy Monday, Loves! ❤

Motivational Monday: Be the Hero of Your Life Not the Victim

I used to spend most of my life being the victim. Anytime anything would go wrong in my life I would be sad for longer than needed, including becoming depressed. But what I’ve realized over the past few years of rebuilding my life by living alone, having great therapists and a good support system of people I trust, is that you deserve to be the hero of your own life. While I have my support systems, I know that I am the only person who can change my life. No one is going to live your life every single day except you. No one can tell you how to live, where to live, pay your bills, do your job, etc. No one is you.

The moment of change for me, was when I recognized that my routine of unhappiness needed to change. By routine I mean, I’d come home from a job I didn’t enjoy, would be tired, constantly thinking negatively, reliving past trauma I’d experienced and go in the shower to be alone and sulk. One night while in this routine, I’d realized I needed to change. I was SICK of being unhappy. My happiness didn’t truly come until now (a few years later) but it only came because I put in the work. I left relationships that made me unhappy, I went to therapy once a week, I wrote love letters to myself to make myself feel better and eventually I moved into my own place, completely alone. I learned how to live with my past, changed jobs, lived in a place I could afford when everyone else told me to live elsewhere. The point is to know what’s best for yourself when you are stuck and can recognize you need to change. If you don’t recognize this within yourself yet, take a look at your daily routine – are you happy with it? Is it fulfilling? If not, then why? What do you NEED to do to make yourself happy? I’ll bet there is a calling within your mind telling you over and over again what you need and until you listen it will be pushed in the back of your mind. I promise when you listen and set yourself free you will feel better. ❤

Everyone needs a hero, and everyone needs themselves to be their own hero. When you stop playing the victim, you’ll open your eyes to an entirely new life. This new life will be one that you’ll never want to give up on or go back to your old ways. It will be so good, you’ll forget your old routine and only focus on your new one. Start small with your new routine, by picking out one thing at a time to change, and once you get a hang of it, try adding something else to it. This could be eating healthy dinners every night, which includes budgeting for meals, meal planning and cooking. Next, start a fitness routine, it is so good to move your body and once you begin this routine, your body will want to move (you’ll realize this after a month of working out or when you happen to miss a class). You can even try small things like listening to a podcast while doing dishes (a great way to learn while working) or playing music (a great way to make yourself happy and dance to move your body). Journal daily about your dreams and find small ways to make those dreams come true. Start with your big dream (the end goal) and work backwards by taking small steps to get there. Know that your dreams take work but that you can make them happen by putting in the work one day at a time.

Introducing small changes in your life means you’ll be changing your habits which will eventually become your routine. Put the work in to make yourself and your happiness a priority, and eventually you’ll realize you don’t have to be a victim to your circumstances, you’re already a hero because you’re devoting yourself to becoming the best version you can possibly be. ❤

Happy Monday, Loves ❤

A Love Letter to The Women Who Had to Start Over

You may have always thought that your life would stay the same. You’d live in one place, have one job, one relationship and one family. Or maybe that was just your dream…or the way society raises you to be…or maybe that’s the way your life was growing up. Where everything always stayed the same. While we don’t always see it while we’re in it, things should always be changing. You need to change in order to grow.

There will be times in life where it will seem easy to stay in one place because it is comfortable to do so. Your mind goes back and forth about staying or leaving. The truth is that in order to start over whether that’s with a job, relationship, place to live, etc. we must acknowledge the need to start over instead of ignoring our feelings around our thoughts. You can’t force change and you will probably never be ready for it, but you can accept it.

You can accept at any point in life that you can start over. You can become a new person. You must do the work it takes to accept that this is your life now. You don’t have to be the person you were as a child; the person people believe you to be when they say the negative things about you because you know differently. Only YOU know yourself enough to know what’s true about you and what isn’t, so don’t sit around collecting everyone’s negative thoughts, believing what they say is true. Just take their thoughts as opinions and don’t internalize them. The moment we believe what everyone thinks about us to be true, could make us become overly emotional. This means we’re not living within our true selves because we’re living in someone else’s thoughts by repeating their negative words to ourselves. It is more than okay to let go of the people in your life who do not serve you anymore. When you become a different person your needs and wants change. If whatever that “thing” is in your life that you need to let go of in order to start over is holding you back, give yourself permission to let it go so that you can start over. Even if this is not a person, but your own negative self-talk, let it go.

It is never a bad thing to start over at any age or any point in your life. It is OKAY, wonderful in fact, to start over. You get the chance to become a new person every single day when wake up in the morning. Let that be enough to help you continue to grow and to change every day.

So, to the woman who had to start over, please remember, starting over is a kind of freedom you never knew you needed until you had to do it for yourself. ❤

Love Always, Amy Beth

Motivational Monday- The True Importance of Knowing When to Say YES to Yourself

Do you ever have those days/weeks/years where everything that could go wrong does? You lose your job, your car breaks down, you slept in late, you get sick, your relationship fell apart. Any time that you have a setback, you still need to say yes to yourself. That project you’ve been meaning to work on, hobby you’ve been wanting to start or anything you’ve been putting off, those are the things you need to listen to yourself about while your setbacks are in full swing. The reason being that the things you’ve been wanting to do, you’ve been manifesting and those are the things you need to say yes to. They will drive you out of the negativity while the setbacks are happening.

When you say yes to yourself, you are giving yourself the opportunity to learn, grow and give yourself a small amount of happiness. It doesn’t matter if you don’t have a clue as to what you’re doing, you learn and grow from the start, but the key is to just start! When you say yes, just one time, you’ll learn to say it more. So much more in fact, that you’ll eventually find and meet people who’ll believe in your mission and you. You’ll learn from these people and become best friends with them. They’ll help you and you’ll help them, because we all need people to grow with.

The true importance of saying yes to yourself is simply, knowing that you can say yes. Don’t let people tell you that you can’t or that you aren’t good enough or not smart enough. The longer you say no, the more disappointed you’ll be in yourself until you say yes.
So, what will you say YES to for yourself today?

Happy Monday!

P.S. This post was inspired from purchasing a ticket to Pays To Be Brave, in California this fall. If any of you are going, please let me know in the comments or on social media, at @stylestomakeyousmile on Facebook or Instagram.

Motivational Monday: A Reminder of the Realities of Life

Because of social media, we all have preconceived notions of what everyone’s lives look like. The reality is that no one will ever know what your life is like because no one can hear your thoughts. It doesn’t matter if you spend every single day with someone beside you, live with someone or see each other for eight hours a day. The thoughts, feelings, experiences and emotions a person can have won’t always be shared with everyone they know, let alone the internet. So then why do we think we know a person’s life so well? We have no idea how much that person struggled to get to where they are now. Things don’t just come to people out of the blue. Most people work for what they have. And while you may only see their success, they may always remember the failures, the times they were told No, the criticism and that may be the driving force to their success.

So, my suggestion to anyone who believes they truly know what someone’s life is like based on social media, is to just talk to them. Ask them how they got to where they are, why they are so happy all the time, how they became successful, etc. Everyone goes through so much in life and we all have a story to tell about why we are the way we are. Sharing and listening to life stories will change your perception and earn more respect towards people. Learning how to talk to people is better than always being envious over someone’s life. It may even help you understand something in your own life a little clearer.

Once you’ve talked to them you can take the lessons you’ve learned and change your mindset around where your life could go. If for some reason you can’t talk to them, learn from them by what they do show you online. If it’s always happy pictures, quotes, funny videos or their hobbies then take what they’re looking at and sharing daily and do the same for yourself to see how your mindset changes.

The biggest life lesson from anyone is one that changes your mindset to thinking more positively about life. Instead of thinking we know about everyone’s life online, try to take a cue from what they’re sharing and learn to bring positivity into your own life every day.

Happy Monday! ❤

Dear Confident Woman

Dear Confident Woman,

I know you’ve been there for a long time. Wanting to believe in yourself even when other people didn’t. I know you’ve followed others for many years believing you had to be someone you aren’t because that’s who they told you you had to be in order to be successful and fit in. If you didn’t dress like them you were made fun of, you were told you lacked confidence in yourself, you were told you weren’t good enough. Yet, deep inside yourself and from the recognition of the right people you knew you were confident.

I know you smile and are happy to the world because that’s what you know how to do. And I know people make fun of you for always having a “goody-goody” personality and a “goody two shoes” attitude. Maybe it’s because you’ve always wanted to see the good in people when people weren’t very nice to you. Yet, I know the things people say about you, have hurt you. You just chose not to let those people see it.

So, in order to be free from those words you’ve heard for many years I want you to know that YOU are a confident woman. You don’t have to listen to those people who tell you differently. YOU are good enough. In fact, every single day you are better than before because you are a person YOU love. You stick to your morals and values no matter what other’s say. You consistently make yourself better, put yourself out there, do things alone because you know it is okay to treat yourself to a date. What keeps you going from other’s negativity is that they have NO idea what you’ve been through. They have no right to determine what your confidence level is because they aren’t you. Sure, you can always listen to critiques and better yourself but remember your past is your own and no one else has come as far as you have to be the confident woman you are.

Keep smiling, laughing and having a “goody-goody” attitude. Why? Because life is short. It is better to see the world you live in in a positive light for this short time. It is better to laugh off the lies people tell you than to believe them. Spend more time laughing than crying. It is better to listen to the positive things you say to yourself than the negative things people say to you. Choose to be around confident people who light you up, motivate you, believe in you and give to you.

Remember that today, you are lucky to be alive on this planet. It does not matter what anyone says about you. It matters that you believe in yourself and you see this world in positive ways. So, to the people who’ll try to hurt you next, (because there will always be someone who will try to) remember to tell yourself: YOU ARE A CONFIDENT WOMAN WHO CAN DO ANYTHING YOU PUT YOUR MIND TO AND YOU ARE NOT GOING TO ALLOW THEIR NEGATIVE WORDS TO CHANGE WHO YOU ARE BECAUSE WHO YOU ARE IS A CONFIDENT WOMAN.

❤ Always, Amy Beth

P.S. If I’ve learned anything from all the lies I’ve heard about myself, it’s this: It is okay to be sad that people think of you a certain way, but it does not mean it is true. It’s not good for you to stay in sadness. You can better yourself, be happy and choose what to believe. Only YOU control your mind, so tell yourself you are a confident woman who can do anything and keep going. ❤