Have you ever waited for someone to give you permission to start something? I’ll bet you have. And chances are that permission that came from someone else started with an idea you had for yourself. So why do we wait so long to begin something until we have permission or continually ask others if something is good enough before we begin?
Why is it that we wait until we absolutely must do something in order to start? Until the doctor gives us permission to change the diet or to lose a job we hate before starting a job we love. Why can’t we say yes to ourselves? To the things that make us happy. Or knowing what you want to do will take work but make excuses for ourselves that we can’t do something until someone else tells us we can.
Stop letting everyone else give you permission to change your life, and just start. No one else can do the work for you. You must make time for yourself, even if it’s an hour a day. Let that time be your alone time to think about what you want for yourself. Figure out a plan of how to change yourself for the better then start it. Your happiness depends on how hard you work for yourself.
Personally, I often look to others who are already doing things I want to do. Those people will always tell you to start. Start when you have no idea what you’re doing but start because you want to. Trust that you’ll figure things out as you go. Stop waiting for someone else to tell you you’re good enough. A successful person will never look down on you for trying. They’ve been there and understand the work it takes. Everyone has had failures and successes because it’s all part of life.
I’ve also learned that if I don’t start what I want to, I’ll continually think about it repeatedly until starting. I even become angry at myself when I know I can do more. Do you ever feel that way? You have a dream for yourself and spend time avoiding it to take the easy way of life; watching TV instead of exercising, or instead of reading a book, but because you make excuses or are too tired you don’t start. I believe there is a difference in taking time for yourself with self-care and completely avoiding in what you should be starting. It’s easier to avoid than it is to start but I believe that if you start, you’ll be happier, you just have to keep going.
Today, give yourself the permission to say YES to yourself. Today, give yourself permission to believe in yourself instead of seeking approval from others. No one is going to live your life the way you will. You don’t need permission from anyone else other than yourself to start. Once you start, seek out people who’ll support you. You may find people who will criticize you, but just keep going and find people who’ll give you the same permission you give yourself, which is to keep going.
Happy Monday, Loves! ❤
When I was growing up, I had a vivid imagination. My best friend and I would play in the backyard (which was the woods) and we’d go on adventures, tell stories and act them out. We even created our own radio show with a small tape recorder and microphones. Once I got into third grade, I realized I had a photographic memory that tied into my visual mind. I knew that by looking at something-words or pictures I could remember it. I could close my eyes and see the answers. Another thing I’d learned at a young age was a love for writing. While I struggled with writing back then, it made me work hard to learn how to write properly. I’d always find myself taking out a notebook and writing about my day or keeping a journal to write about the boy(s) I liked. I also would write short stories that I’d imagine in my mind and bring to life on paper. The year I graduated college, I sat at a coffee shop to have lunch by myself and dreamed about interviewing someone for a magazine I had written. Throughout my working life I’d always think about jobs I wished I’d had and thought about all the ways I could provide the company with great ideas. Then, I began reading blogs and realizing that if normal people could write their ideas and have people read them, without the celebrity status or people just in general knowing who you are, then I could too.
As an adult, I have taken my imagination to the next level by using it as a building block for a positive mindset. I use my imagination to envision where I want my life to go. Everything from where I want to vacation, who I want to surround myself with and what I want for my life. I let my mind wander all the time and take my dreams as far as I can. I’ll even dream as I’m walking through a store while shopping. I know that a blog can turn into a business, I’ve seen it with other people. I know that if you surround yourself with people who work just as hard as you or harder, they can be inspiration for you. I know if you choose to go on a vacation where you’ll learn something, like at a conference or master mind, you’ll come home a new person. However, you must do more than just envision, you must do the work. The work can be messy but if you’ve started that’s what’s important. If you try, it means you didn’t give up on yourself. When you put the work in it means you’re determined.
Today, as a 32-year-old woman I close my eyes and see the answers to the vision of my life: the answer is that I can have the life I envision. You have an imagination for a reason, and you were put on this planet for a reason. I believe you were born to live out your vision for your life, all you have to do is start.
Happy Monday Loves! Check out my social media pages on Instagram and Facebook at: Stylestomakeyousmile
You may have always thought that your life would stay the same. You’d live in one place, have one job, one relationship and one family. Or maybe that was just your dream…or the way society raises you to be…or maybe that’s the way your life was growing up. Where everything always stayed the same. While we don’t always see it while we’re in it, things should always be changing. You need to change in order to grow.
There will be times in life where it will seem easy to stay in one place because it is comfortable to do so. Your mind goes back and forth about staying or leaving. The truth is that in order to start over whether that’s with a job, relationship, place to live, etc. we must acknowledge the need to start over instead of ignoring our feelings around our thoughts. You can’t force change and you will probably never be ready for it, but you can accept it.
You can accept at any point in life that you can start over. You can become a new person. You must do the work it takes to accept that this is your life now. You don’t have to be the person you were as a child; the person people believe you to be when they say the negative things about you because you know differently. Only YOU know yourself enough to know what’s true about you and what isn’t, so don’t sit around collecting everyone’s negative thoughts, believing what they say is true. Just take their thoughts as opinions and don’t internalize them. The moment we believe what everyone thinks about us to be true, could make us become overly emotional. This means we’re not living within our true selves because we’re living in someone else’s thoughts by repeating their negative words to ourselves. It is more than okay to let go of the people in your life who do not serve you anymore. When you become a different person your needs and wants change. If whatever that “thing” is in your life that you need to let go of in order to start over is holding you back, give yourself permission to let it go so that you can start over. Even if this is not a person, but your own negative self-talk, let it go.
It is never a bad thing to start over at any age or any point in your life. It is OKAY, wonderful in fact, to start over. You get the chance to become a new person every single day when wake up in the morning. Let that be enough to help you continue to grow and to change every day.
So, to the woman who had to start over, please remember, starting over is a kind of freedom you never knew you needed until you had to do it for yourself. ❤
Love Always, Amy Beth
Do you ever have those days/weeks/years where everything that could go wrong does? You lose your job, your car breaks down, you slept in late, you get sick, your relationship fell apart. Any time that you have a setback, you still need to say yes to yourself. That project you’ve been meaning to work on, hobby you’ve been wanting to start or anything you’ve been putting off, those are the things you need to listen to yourself about while your setbacks are in full swing. The reason being that the things you’ve been wanting to do, you’ve been manifesting and those are the things you need to say yes to. They will drive you out of the negativity while the setbacks are happening.
When you say yes to yourself, you are giving yourself the opportunity to learn, grow and give yourself a small amount of happiness. It doesn’t matter if you don’t have a clue as to what you’re doing, you learn and grow from the start, but the key is to just start! When you say yes, just one time, you’ll learn to say it more. So much more in fact, that you’ll eventually find and meet people who’ll believe in your mission and you. You’ll learn from these people and become best friends with them. They’ll help you and you’ll help them, because we all need people to grow with.
The true importance of saying yes to yourself is simply, knowing that you can say yes. Don’t let people tell you that you can’t or that you aren’t good enough or not smart enough. The longer you say no, the more disappointed you’ll be in yourself until you say yes.
So, what will you say YES to for yourself today?
P.S. This post was inspired from purchasing a ticket to Pays To Be Brave, in California this fall. If any of you are going, please let me know in the comments or on social media, at @stylestomakeyousmile on Facebook or Instagram.
When I think of the word HARD, I think of something I can’t do. But when I think of the word Challenging, I think of something that I can do. Anything that is hard is good for you if you choose to see it that way. Whether it is something at work that’s hard, a workout class or learning something new.
A year ago, I had taken Pure Barre’s Reform class and deemed it too hard for me because of the moves that I thought I couldn’t do. So, I gave up because my mind set was that it was too hard. Then, the other night at class, I talked to a friend at barre who told me she liked Reform because it was challenging even for her (we both go to barre all week). That’s when I realized that if she and women twice my age can go to this class, then I can too. If it’s not too hard for them, it’s not for me either. So, this weekend I took my second Reform class and I realized it’s still just as difficult as it was a year ago. I still have trouble using a slider to pull my feet to my arms while in a plank position.
Looking at back my decision to not take this class anymore, I’d realized I was wrong to think this because all my barre classes are challenging. When I first started barre I could not hold a plank for 30 seconds or do pushups, I thought it was hard, but I kept going to class anyway because I enjoyed the challenge. I also enjoy seeing all that hard work change my body for the better. I must push myself in class every time to do my personal best. Even though I was the only one struggling while using the slider during that portion of Reform Saturday morning, maybe someone else was struggling in an area of class that I deemed less challenging. But here’s the mantra my teachers use in class and they are words to live by: WHAT DOESN’T CHALLENGE YOU WON’T CHANGE YOU.
So, today on this Monday morning, I am challenging you to do things outside of your comfort zone that you deem hard. Take the word hard out of your vocabulary and replace it with challenging because when something is hard, you’ll likely give up but when it’s challenging you will push through it. Push through everything that’s hard in life because you will come out stronger mentally and physically for it every time.
Happy Monday ❤
There are many types of self-reflections that work for people such as journaling and gratitude lists. One night I realized that I haven’t made the commitment to doing these, so instead I thought I’d do some mental self-reflections of how my day went. Reflecting on the day from start to finish. Being proud of the things I accomplished throughout the day or check off my to-do list. Recognizing what I could have done better to accomplish more or change my mood around certain things in my life.
When self-reflecting at the end of the day, this will help shed light on where your mood shifted throughout the day and when you build upon it to change for tomorrow, you’ll know better how to deal with that situation. Mindset and mood go hand in hand, so if you have a positive mindset your mood will reflect this. Although I will admit that not every day can be the best day ever because things will happen, but I’ll bet at the end of the night you can find one good thing about the day.
In what ways do you self-reflect?
I’ve recently realized how much I say yes to others for fear of letting them down. I am set a bar for their expectations and am told not to let them down and not to let someone else rise above me. Because they expect me to do better than them from the results I’ve showed in the past.
So, why do I sometimes let myself down? I find that I am not always setting the bar for myself with personal goals. I let things go unfinished, don’t follow up, leave things hanging for a week or more until I get to it again, I’ll think of ideas but not write them down. This is the complete opposite of how I act with others, but why? Why am I giving myself permission to be one way to others and another way to myself? Why don’t I put myself and my goals on a pedestal the way others do for me? I should. We all should because our dreams and ideas matter. What we do for others matters just as much as what we can and should do for ourselves.
Let yourself be seen the way others see you. The way you should show yourself to them in your best light is how you need to show up for yourself. My cousin gave me great advice to set deadlines for myself once I think of an idea. This makes sense as I always set them to get things done for others. Besides a lot of the time, if I don’t do something for myself the first time around, it will manifest in my mind until I release it.
So, will you begin setting the same expectations for yourself as you do for others? I hope so. ❤