Motivational Monday – Self-Reflections

There are many types of self-reflections that work for people such as journaling and gratitude lists. One night I realized that I haven’t made the commitment to doing these, so instead I thought I’d do some mental self-reflections of how my day went. Reflecting on the day from start to finish. Being proud of the things I accomplished throughout the day or check off my to-do list. Recognizing what I could have done better to accomplish more or change my mood around certain things in my life.

When self-reflecting at the end of the day, this will help shed light on where your mood shifted throughout the day and when you build upon it to change for tomorrow, you’ll know better how to deal with that situation. Mindset and mood go hand in hand, so if you have a positive mindset your mood will reflect this. Although I will admit that not every day can be the best day ever because things will happen, but I’ll bet at the end of the night you can find one good thing about the day.

In what ways do you self-reflect?

Motivational Monday: Setting Expectations For Yourself Vs. Others

I’ve recently realized how much I say yes to others for fear of letting them down. I am set a bar for their expectations and am told not to let them down and not to let someone else rise above me. Because they expect me to do better than them from the results I’ve showed in the past.

So, why do I sometimes let myself down? I find that I am not always setting the bar for myself with personal goals. I let things go unfinished, don’t follow up, leave things hanging for a week or more until I get to it again, I’ll think of ideas but not write them down. This is the complete opposite of how I act with others, but why? Why am I giving myself permission to be one way to others and another way to myself? Why don’t I put myself and my goals on a pedestal the way others do for me? I should. We all should because our dreams and ideas matter. What we do for others matters just as much as what we can and should do for ourselves.

Let yourself be seen the way others see you. The way you should show yourself to them in your best light is how you need to show up for yourself. My cousin gave me great advice to set deadlines for myself once I think of an idea. This makes sense as I always set them to get things done for others. Besides a lot of the time, if I don’t do something for myself the first time around, it will manifest in my mind until I release it.

So, will you begin setting the same expectations for yourself as you do for others? I hope so. ❤

Motivational Monday: Don’t Fake It Till You Make It. Be Yourself And You’ll Make It.

In the first half of my career I heard the saying, Fake It Till You Make It, and because of this I HATE this saying. Let’s be honest does anyone REALLY enjoy being fake? No. If you don’t know how to do something, learn, research, ask, do anything BUT pretend you know what you’re doing. If you don’t know how to do something just admit it (I had no idea what I was doing when I started this blog, but I learned and never pretended I knew).

While growing up I was a huge victim of not asking people for help. I never told myself I would “fake it” I was just either too stubborn or embarrassed to ask for help. In my current position I get thrown into a LOT of situations where I have to learn how to do things from the ground up. So now, reframing from my old self I will ask every. single. question that comes to my mind because I realize I need to learn and grow. I’ve sometimes been on the phone with people for hours learning until it makes sense to me. And I can’t thank those people enough for helping me ❤ So I guess you can say I’ve grown out of my stubbornness.

In the world we live in it can be hard to stand out so sometimes people tend to follow what others are doing-they are being fake to themselves because they think what the other people are doing is best and it’s what’s working for them so why not follow them instead of being yourself. DON’T DO THIS. The WORST thing you can do for yourself is to NOT be yourself. YOU have a talent that you are supposed to share with the world, so SHARE IT. No one has the gift you do, whether that is teaching, writing, designing, coaching, cooking, etc. No one else is you. People like certain people because they are being themselves-genuine, real and vulnerable.

Having confidence in yourself and being fake are two completely different things. Confident people don’t have to “fake” something instead they’ll ask for help. Eventually being fake will grow old. If you’re following what everyone else is doing and they all decide to do something you don’t like, will you continue to be like them? Or will you have the courage to stand on your own and be yourself?

I hope if you are reading this message and can recognize that you aren’t being yourself, that you will show people who you are with your own special gift and break free from being fake. No more Fake It Till You Make It. Be Yourself and You’ll Make It. Happy Monday! ❤

Motivational Monday: Limiting Beliefs

Limiting beliefs are the lies we hear and tell ourselves, but it is up to us to not to listen to them. There are limiting beliefs in the world that you can only do so much. Sometimes people will tell you what’s best for you because that’s all they know. However, if you decide to expand your mind, learn new things and trust yourself, you’ll know there are no limits to what you can do. On the other hand, the limits we tell ourselves are true are there because of what we say to ourselves- “I can’t do…insert activity here.” For a long time, I told myself I couldn’t hold a plank for 90 seconds while working out. Why? Because it was hard. I limited myself. Why? Because it was easier than dealing with the pain that comes with working out. Yet, I continued to go to class four times a week, and you know what? I CAN hold a plank. I changed my mindset around the belief that I couldn’t do something to telling myself I can. And I have strong teachers who push me to do my best during class. To be honest, I don’t want to disappoint them much less myself. All of this has helped me realize, you motivate yourself first then you need to be around the people who motivate you.

In the newest thirty second Nike Ad, a women age 81 was told she was crazy for running a marathon. But guess what? She did it anyway. Why? Because she believed in herself even when no one else did. The point is you don’t have to believe everything everyone tells you. Her mantra in life is Why Not and her thoughts to those people who told her she was crazy is, “But that’s the great thing about being old. I can just pretend not to hear them.” I hope at 81 I can still be as active as her and still pretend not to hear any limiting beliefs put on by myself or others.

What you need to do to gain confidence, is push their words out of your mind. Instead of telling yourself what THEY say, tell yourself what YOU say. YOU’RE the only one who knows what you’re capable of. Once you begin to show everyone around you how confident you are and that you can do whatever it is they are saying you can’t or shouldn’t, they’ll change their minds. Put positive words and mantras in your mind and the limiting beliefs you have within yourself will start to fade.

**Remember: Time will always be there, you just have to decide when you’re going to believe in yourself, even at age 81.

What are some limiting beliefs you’ve told yourself or that you’ve heard from others?

Motivational Monday: I believe… I know…

I believe in wearing white after Labor Day.

I know being the best version of yourself means you’re happy.

I believe to be happy you must spend time with yourself to learn what you enjoy and listen to what you want and don’t want anymore.

I know it’s important to take yourself on vacation and treat yourself with good food, shopping and hotel. Don’t let anyone tell you differently.

I believe you should always continue to learn, it’s how you’ll become successful. I also believe in mentors-I’d never be as successful as I am without them.

I know that changing yourself is always best.

I know you learn the most about yourself when you’re alone and try new things.

I believe when given a challenge you must take it and not complain, there’s a reason the person giving you the challenge believes you can do it, it’s because they believe in you.

I know that if you are tired of being the person you used to be that you’ll find a way to change yourself. Unhappiness gets old. And when you tell yourself you don’t want to be sad anymore, you’ll do what you can to change.

I believe you need to do what’s best for you.

I know confidence comes with a combination of standing up for yourself and finding the right people to guide you.

I know spending time with loved one’s is one of the most important things in this world because you don’t know when anyone’s time is done.

I believe that death can give you a push to make you realize your dreams. It reminds you how very little time we all have here.

What are some things you believe and know in life? Please share them with me in the comments below or on social media, at @stylestomakeyousmile

Dreams of a 32 Year Old

Dreams of a 32-Year-Old,

If there is one thing I’ve realized going into my 32nd year of life, it’s that dreams can change as you age and that is not necessarily a bad thing.

When I was in 3rd grade, my teacher had the class share what we wanted to be when we grew up. Most said, a teacher, vet or doctor. I said Princess. Clearly, I will never be a real princess, but if there is one thing I know, it’s that I can be a princess in my own way-I can build my life how I want. I can spend every day doing what I want-going to a job I enjoy, blogging about things that make me happy and help others, working out, eating foods that make me feel good, spending my money on things that bring me joy and spending time with people I love.

I’ve done a LOT of work on myself this year from going to therapy, listening to multiple podcasters talk about how to better yourself-to define success for yourself and go for your dreams. These women have made me realize that the only way to be successful is to work hard. Before starting my blog, I was lazy on the weekends and had no ambition and cared too much about what everyone else was doing without me. But now that I put in the effort to do something I enjoy, it’s taken the place of that negative space that was overgrowing with sadness.
I have also learned that treating myself to a vacation away from my everyday life is MUCH NEEDED. Earlier in the year, I thought I’d take a solo trip to Florida and lay by the ocean all week, but because Style Collective was having a conference I decided to take a full four days to NYC where I’d attend the conference, go to see a Broadway play, stay at a really nice hotel and eat in new restaurants. The point of the trip was to push myself outside of my comfort zone and this DEF. did! I decided on the conference over a beach vacation because I knew I’d grow more as a person-I’d learn more on the blogging industry, meet new people and learn to be okay with being out of my comfort zone.

Side Note: Now that I’m older I LOVE to learn! Learning from others is one of the greatest gifts especially when it comes to bettering yourself. ❤
Stop living in the past and live life day to day. I’ve learned that the worst thing you can do for yourself is stay stuck in yesterday, a year ago or five years ago. If an old memory that makes you uncomfortable appears online, don’t look at it, if you see a person who only brought you down, don’t engage with them, if someone is constantly questioning your personal life, give them a vague answer if you don’t want to get into it. Staying in the present comes down to knowing yourself. If you know something you see, or a conversation will upset you then don’t look at it or walk away from it. It’s the only way you will grow as a person.

What my dream (much like what society says) used to be was having a perfect house, relationship, family, career and at 32 I’m not even close to most of that. But you know what? I’m okay with the life I do have because I know that my life is what I want it to be. Every single day we make decisions on what to do next with our life. For many years, I stayed stuck in the past (and in my old dreams), and now I realize I don’t have to anymore. I can only compare my life to myself and no one else’s.

Cheers to 32! Another year of growth ❤

❤ Always, Amy Beth

What have you learned this year? What was a dream you swapped out for a new one? Let me know in the comments!

Motivational Monday: The Story of Your Life

The other day I realized that everything and everyone has a story. Every dance you watch is telling a story, a book you read tells a story, every song you hear and out of all of those comes from a person who has lived their story and is able to share it.

Sometimes the reason that people can be so successful is because of the story that they have to share with the world. Being relatable to other’s can help people in so many ways. When it comes to my blog I have always told myself that if I can help at least one person with my content then I’m happy. My content is just a story of the world I live in. The way I see and have seen the world in just a short 31 years. I believe that because everyone has such a different view on the world, you should share what you’ve learned with others and be honest about it. By realizing the value in the story, sharing it can open many doors for you.

I believe that in life people just want to be heard, respected and loved. No one wants to be judged but by putting their story out into the world, but you will be. But by doing so you can connect on an emotional level with so many people. So, don’t be afraid to put yourself out their and share what you’ve learned because you don’t know who you’ll help in the process of sharing your story.