In a world that is comparison overload between social media and everyone judging each other on how people live, we sometimes only focus on other’s success. What we forget to see is the struggle of how the person got their success. Most success isn’t an overnight thing, people work hard to find success in their life-whether it is with their business, relationship, fitness goals or mental health.
A lot of times we only see the best versions of someone’s life and forget that maybe that person who is currently successful may have struggled. Sometimes people choose to share their struggle and when they do it can make them feel relatable, like maybe you’ve gone through a similar situation. And if they decide to share their life it can make other’s judge them less…hopefully.
So, why do we judge people so hard when they’ve found success? Maybe we shouldn’t. Maybe instead we should see their success is coming from a place of hard work and empowerment. Maybe their success is something they’ve been wanting for themselves for YEARS and couldn’t achieve it until now because they were going through a struggle you know nothing about. You truly don’t know anyone until you’ve seen them behind closed doors. If someone shares their struggle with you and you help them then you are adding to their success, maybe without even realizing it.
Be happy for the one’s who’ve found their success and lift up the one’s who are struggling.
This week I had a very busy week-you know the kind, where the days all blend together and by Friday you don’t even realize it’s Friday, until you’re told so and remember you’ll will have the next two days off and know that the work week is over. You mean next week DOES exist? Yes, it does. This means that the work week will always come to end. Anything you’re dealing with during the week, you can take a two-day break from, you just have to mentally show up for yourself to tell yourself that you deserve a break.
So, here’s what I did this weekend to show up: I worked out, I bought myself a new book called Work Party by Jaclyn Johnson and I read the first four chapters while dressed in a t-shirt, comfy capris, next to an open window with the breeze coming through and listened to life going by outside, I caught up with my friends and family, I planned my entire month of September in my planner-I’d be lost without a planner, I made plans with people I love and let go of the week.
Showing up for yourself mentally just means that you need to allow yourself to work through your emotional and mental process of how your week went and then turning it around by allowing yourself to be okay. Anything that you are dealing with will always end if you let it. If you drag it on in your mind, it will haunt you all weekend, so to move past it, you need to give yourself permission to think about what happened for a certain time then for the rest of the day/weekend tell yourself to move on.
There will always be hard times in life and times when things can be brought up from the past, but it’s how we deal with those times in the present to show up for ourselves that matter the most ❤
Self-love is one of the best feelings in the world. Why? Because it means you’re making time for yourself. What you put out into the world matters, so if you are feeling like you need some alone time to rejuvenate yourself, you should. Your gut will always tell you when you need a break. I think we’ve all been there, when we’re so stressed out and frustrated with everything going on around us that we just need time away to focus and bring positivity back. When we treat ourselves, it means that we can be our best selves to everyone in our lives.
Some of the ways I’ve said yes to myself this year are: scheduling a weekly workout routine, planning dinners, fueling the body with the food it needs to function properly (I’ve done this by trial and error and I always know when my body is needing something different), sleeping on a normal schedule, waking up early and blogging before going into work, communicating with likeminded women online and taking myself on vacation.
Have you tried any of these as self-care? Have they worked for you?
Say YES to yourself every single day, whether that is by doing one of the things listed above or reading a book or laying in a bath while listening to a podcast or taking a walk. When we take time to drown out what everyone around us is doing and listen to ourselves, you will be able to hear yourself speak about the things you REALLY want to pursue. Once you begin to hear yourself think, GO DO IT. I promise you won’t regret it. Once you unleash your ideas your mind will be focused on how you can create what’s been in your mind all along.
Happy Monday! ❤
Do you ever look at what someone else has and think, I wish I had that? Or, I wish I made that amount of money or had that car or that job or lifestyle in general? No matter what anyone else has, YOU can have a great life, too. It may not be exactly what the other person has, but you must work for what you want out of this life.
The simple fact of why no one should compare themselves to anyone is because no one is you. Even if someone else has had the same experience as you, that does not mean they are YOU. Every single person is on a different path than you. Even if someone else did the exact same things as you, that person still speaks and thinks differently.
You never REALLY know what the person you compare yourself to is really going through-their struggles, stress, etc. What that person’s life looks like to you or the outside world may be completely different behind closed doors.
Build your own life. Do things that make you happy and proud because you only get ONE life. Instead of comparing yourself to this person, ask them how they became successful-showing that you admire someone else’s hard work can be very humbling.
Tip: One of the things I love doing is following my favorite influencers on social media-specifically Instagram because they share SO MUCH about their life! They share everything from what they eat, workouts, other influencers/friends they love, to what they did to make themselves successful-even if it’s just changing their mindset.
No one wakes up one day and is successful, it takes time. We must realize that we are all on our own journey and be inspired by others to do the best we can ❤
Happy Monday! Follow me on IG & Facebook at @stylestomakeyousmile
Yesterday, I sat outside and watched two young girls walk up to the top of a waterfall. One climbed to the top of the waterfall quickly, and then fled down waiting for the other girl. The other girl took her time getting to the top, moving carefully, when she got to the top she felt the water and then slowly made her way down and ran to catch up with the other girl.
When I was the girls age (around 10-12), I remember being like the first girl who climbed the waterfall quickly, who had no fear. Around this age my cousin instilled fearlessness in me as he told me he’d only ride roller coasters with me if I were to ride in the front seat. I didn’t want to say no, so I did it and from then on rode the front seat of every. single. rollercoaster. Before I was the girls age, I was very shy. But growing up in the country made me want to explore everything and be fearless.
So, as I sat there yesterday watching the girls I thought, when did I lose that fearlessness? When did I let growing up in this world change my perception from fearless to fearful? The answer: it’s because of all the negative experiences I’ve had personally or have seen happen to others that have made me fearful.
To combat fear, we must change our mindset to know that not every bad experience will replay in our lives. We need to have people in our lives who’ll tell us not to be afraid or we will never be free.
To those young girls, I hope they continue to walk this world fearless even if one is timid than the other-she still followed the fearless girl, which means she can be fearless on her own ❤
Have you ever had a REALLY bad day, and someone recognized it and did something nice for you unexpectedly? Or have you walked into work and there was a nice note left for you written by a coworker and friend? Or have you received a text from a loved one that says, Have a great day!
It’s those unexpected small gestures that make a big impact on us. Even if a bad experience happened there are always ways to get through them. So, remember what those people who care for you, have done on a bad day or wanted to start your morning with a smile. Pass this on by doing the same for someone else. Send an I Love You text, especially to someone who is going through a rough time right now. Send a card in the mail to your friend who lives far away that says you’re thinking of them.
Remember, to do the same for yourself too, buy pretty flowers to keep in your home and put them where you’ll see them every morning before work, write yourself a note on pretty paper, keep notes from loved ones and hang them on a board where you can see them daily. Any of these will keep you remembering you are loved, happy and that you can make it through the week.
This weekend I listened to a podcast called Goal Digger hosted by Jenna Kutcher episode 118: What Nastia Liukin Learned After Her Gold Medal. Nastia is a Russian American former gymnast. The number one takeaway I learned from this podcast was the lesson Nastia’s parents taught her in wanting to quit. Whenever she would have a bad day, she’d tell her parents she wanted to quit and her parents would say to her, Okay, but not today. I can totally relate to this feeling of wanting to be done with something when I’ve had a bad day, feel overworked, tired, mentally drained, etc. Once Nastia would have a good day her parents would say, Okay now you can quit. Have you ever told yourself you can quit something on a GOOD day? After hearing this on the podcast I realized this is such a great technique of reverse psychology. I’ve never thought to quit something on a good day. This goes to show what a positive and negative mindset can do for a person on a good and bad day.
So, the next time you want to quit something on a bad day, give yourself a break for the rest of the night, don’t focus on quitting, focus on bringing your mind elsewhere and staying present. And, when you have a good day, come back to the day you thought about quitting and this should make you realize if you REALLY want to quit. Everything you do will make more sense with a clear mind.
Have you ever told yourself you can quit something on a good day? Also, if you’d like to hear the entire episode from the podcast, visit iTunes and search Goal Digger.