I was once screamed at for telling someone that I didn’t know something. They yelled, “Stop saying, I don’t know!” Having people in my life who’d yell at me when I didn’t know something made me feel bad about myself. I internalized their words by taking it out on myself and not ask for help.
That all changed when I had someone tell me that they say they don’t know something but can always find the answer. This made me realize that it IS OKAY to admit when you don’t know something. Asking people for help is good. You won’t know how to do everything in life, especially when starting something new, whether it is with work, cooking, working out, etc., you will spend your entire life learning. I’ve realized I’m attracted to people who are smart and the people who’ll tell me when they don’t know something but can find out the answer by asking the right people or researching the answers. I always feel better when I have people, I can rely on to ask questions or talk myself through the answer with someone else. You might even be the person someone reaches out to when they don’t know the answer, so be patient with them and help them learn.
Sometimes people get into a habit of telling others to do things but not explaining how. I’ve realized it is everyone’s job in life to speak up when they do not know something. It does not mean you are not smart, stupid or have no confidence. To be a confident person, you must ask questions. If people put you down for that, that is on them and not you. I’ve learned to ask how to do things then take notes to remember. If you don’t do the same things every day, chances are you won’t always remember them. I can barely remember what I did an hour after I’ve done it, ha.
I hope what you’ll take away from this is to ask questions, be the person someone else can talk to, always say thank you when someone helps you answer your question and remember: saying you don’t know does not mean you are not confident, it means you are being honest. Confidence comes when you let your walls down, admit what you don’t know but that you can always find the answer ❤
Happy Monday, Loves!
There are many types of self-reflections that work for people such as journaling and gratitude lists. One night I realized that I haven’t made the commitment to doing these, so instead I thought I’d do some mental self-reflections of how my day went. Reflecting on the day from start to finish. Being proud of the things I accomplished throughout the day or check off my to-do list. Recognizing what I could have done better to accomplish more or change my mood around certain things in my life.
When self-reflecting at the end of the day, this will help shed light on where your mood shifted throughout the day and when you build upon it to change for tomorrow, you’ll know better how to deal with that situation. Mindset and mood go hand in hand, so if you have a positive mindset your mood will reflect this. Although I will admit that not every day can be the best day ever because things will happen, but I’ll bet at the end of the night you can find one good thing about the day.
In what ways do you self-reflect?
I’ve recently realized how much I say yes to others for fear of letting them down. I am set a bar for their expectations and am told not to let them down and not to let someone else rise above me. Because they expect me to do better than them from the results I’ve showed in the past.
So, why do I sometimes let myself down? I find that I am not always setting the bar for myself with personal goals. I let things go unfinished, don’t follow up, leave things hanging for a week or more until I get to it again, I’ll think of ideas but not write them down. This is the complete opposite of how I act with others, but why? Why am I giving myself permission to be one way to others and another way to myself? Why don’t I put myself and my goals on a pedestal the way others do for me? I should. We all should because our dreams and ideas matter. What we do for others matters just as much as what we can and should do for ourselves.
Let yourself be seen the way others see you. The way you should show yourself to them in your best light is how you need to show up for yourself. My cousin gave me great advice to set deadlines for myself once I think of an idea. This makes sense as I always set them to get things done for others. Besides a lot of the time, if I don’t do something for myself the first time around, it will manifest in my mind until I release it.
So, will you begin setting the same expectations for yourself as you do for others? I hope so. ❤
In the first half of my career I heard the saying, Fake It Till You Make It, and because of this I HATE this saying. Let’s be honest does anyone REALLY enjoy being fake? No. If you don’t know how to do something, learn, research, ask, do anything BUT pretend you know what you’re doing. If you don’t know how to do something just admit it (I had no idea what I was doing when I started this blog, but I learned and never pretended I knew).
While growing up I was a huge victim of not asking people for help. I never told myself I would “fake it” I was just either too stubborn or embarrassed to ask for help. In my current position I get thrown into a LOT of situations where I have to learn how to do things from the ground up. So now, reframing from my old self I will ask every. single. question that comes to my mind because I realize I need to learn and grow. I’ve sometimes been on the phone with people for hours learning until it makes sense to me. And I can’t thank those people enough for helping me ❤ So I guess you can say I’ve grown out of my stubbornness.
In the world we live in it can be hard to stand out so sometimes people tend to follow what others are doing-they are being fake to themselves because they think what the other people are doing is best and it’s what’s working for them so why not follow them instead of being yourself. DON’T DO THIS. The WORST thing you can do for yourself is to NOT be yourself. YOU have a talent that you are supposed to share with the world, so SHARE IT. No one has the gift you do, whether that is teaching, writing, designing, coaching, cooking, etc. No one else is you. People like certain people because they are being themselves-genuine, real and vulnerable.
Having confidence in yourself and being fake are two completely different things. Confident people don’t have to “fake” something instead they’ll ask for help. Eventually being fake will grow old. If you’re following what everyone else is doing and they all decide to do something you don’t like, will you continue to be like them? Or will you have the courage to stand on your own and be yourself?
I hope if you are reading this message and can recognize that you aren’t being yourself, that you will show people who you are with your own special gift and break free from being fake. No more Fake It Till You Make It. Be Yourself and You’ll Make It. Happy Monday! ❤
Close your eyes Girl.
Take a deep breath.
Now open your eyes and face your reality.
Make those dreams come true.
My body awoke at 5:30am. Before I even opened my eyes, I dreamed. I dreamed about what my life could be (and should be). I dreamed about sharing my gift with the entire world. I thought about the life I want for myself. The REAL life I want.
My dream is to make people more confident within themselves. I need to share my thoughts because they are important, and I believe they are worth hearing. I need to share my gift with the world. I want women and young girls to have the confidence in themselves the way I now do. Confidence is getting up every single day and doing the things you love. Confident people are consistently finding ways to better themselves. They are not the people who have all the answers. They are the people who are constantly asking questions, researching and believing in themselves. They seek answers and when they find them they share them with the world. If no one ever shared their gifts this world would be boring-their wouldn’t be concerts to go to, beautiful things to buy, incredible food to eat and no one to learn from. So, what are you waiting for? Go share your gift with the world and don’t ever stop dreaming ❤ Happy Weekend!
Limiting beliefs are the lies we hear and tell ourselves, but it is up to us to not to listen to them. There are limiting beliefs in the world that you can only do so much. Sometimes people will tell you what’s best for you because that’s all they know. However, if you decide to expand your mind, learn new things and trust yourself, you’ll know there are no limits to what you can do. On the other hand, the limits we tell ourselves are true are there because of what we say to ourselves- “I can’t do…insert activity here.” For a long time, I told myself I couldn’t hold a plank for 90 seconds while working out. Why? Because it was hard. I limited myself. Why? Because it was easier than dealing with the pain that comes with working out. Yet, I continued to go to class four times a week, and you know what? I CAN hold a plank. I changed my mindset around the belief that I couldn’t do something to telling myself I can. And I have strong teachers who push me to do my best during class. To be honest, I don’t want to disappoint them much less myself. All of this has helped me realize, you motivate yourself first then you need to be around the people who motivate you.
In the newest thirty second Nike Ad, a women age 81 was told she was crazy for running a marathon. But guess what? She did it anyway. Why? Because she believed in herself even when no one else did. The point is you don’t have to believe everything everyone tells you. Her mantra in life is Why Not and her thoughts to those people who told her she was crazy is, “But that’s the great thing about being old. I can just pretend not to hear them.” I hope at 81 I can still be as active as her and still pretend not to hear any limiting beliefs put on by myself or others.
What you need to do to gain confidence, is push their words out of your mind. Instead of telling yourself what THEY say, tell yourself what YOU say. YOU’RE the only one who knows what you’re capable of. Once you begin to show everyone around you how confident you are and that you can do whatever it is they are saying you can’t or shouldn’t, they’ll change their minds. Put positive words and mantras in your mind and the limiting beliefs you have within yourself will start to fade.
**Remember: Time will always be there, you just have to decide when you’re going to believe in yourself, even at age 81.
What are some limiting beliefs you’ve told yourself or that you’ve heard from others?
Today, I wanted to share my mission for my blog and the community who reads it ❤ Enjoy!
My mission is to provide realistic lifestyle tips to everyone.
Everything from tips on blogging advice, ways to take care of yourself, and most importantly, motivation. Each Monday I share a Motivational Monday post that is a lesson I’ve learned throughout the week, that I believe should be shared with you all, my community. My hope is that these lessons will manifest into a positive mindset.
I want people to recognize that you can have a happy, healthy and positive mindset and lifestyle.
If you’re wondering where this motivational mindset came from, it has grown out of years of negative mindset. I was believing lies people told me about myself (one of them being I have no confidence). Until one day when I decided I needed to change myself and be a better version of me for ME. I then began working out regularly, managing my money, eating foods my body craves, listening to what my body needed every single day-rest, work or a dance party while getting ready for the day, writing daily and surrounding my life with people who motivate me (especially through online communities!).
I hope you find this community I’ve curated a place for you to learn more about yourselves. It will be motivational and supportive as we all walk our own journey of life together by providing a realistic lifestyle.
Remember: You are NOT the lies people tell you. YOU are the person you BECOME.
❤ Always, Amy Beth