I was once screamed at for telling someone that I didn’t know something. They yelled, “Stop saying, I don’t know!” Having people in my life who’d yell at me when I didn’t know something made me feel bad about myself. I internalized their words by taking it out on myself and not ask for help.
That all changed when I had someone tell me that they say they don’t know something but can always find the answer. This made me realize that it IS OKAY to admit when you don’t know something. Asking people for help is good. You won’t know how to do everything in life, especially when starting something new, whether it is with work, cooking, working out, etc., you will spend your entire life learning. I’ve realized I’m attracted to people who are smart and the people who’ll tell me when they don’t know something but can find out the answer by asking the right people or researching the answers. I always feel better when I have people, I can rely on to ask questions or talk myself through the answer with someone else. You might even be the person someone reaches out to when they don’t know the answer, so be patient with them and help them learn.
Sometimes people get into a habit of telling others to do things but not explaining how. I’ve realized it is everyone’s job in life to speak up when they do not know something. It does not mean you are not smart, stupid or have no confidence. To be a confident person, you must ask questions. If people put you down for that, that is on them and not you. I’ve learned to ask how to do things then take notes to remember. If you don’t do the same things every day, chances are you won’t always remember them. I can barely remember what I did an hour after I’ve done it, ha.
I hope what you’ll take away from this is to ask questions, be the person someone else can talk to, always say thank you when someone helps you answer your question and remember: saying you don’t know does not mean you are not confident, it means you are being honest. Confidence comes when you let your walls down, admit what you don’t know but that you can always find the answer ❤
Happy Monday, Loves!
In the first half of my career I heard the saying, Fake It Till You Make It, and because of this I HATE this saying. Let’s be honest does anyone REALLY enjoy being fake? No. If you don’t know how to do something, learn, research, ask, do anything BUT pretend you know what you’re doing. If you don’t know how to do something just admit it (I had no idea what I was doing when I started this blog, but I learned and never pretended I knew).
While growing up I was a huge victim of not asking people for help. I never told myself I would “fake it” I was just either too stubborn or embarrassed to ask for help. In my current position I get thrown into a LOT of situations where I have to learn how to do things from the ground up. So now, reframing from my old self I will ask every. single. question that comes to my mind because I realize I need to learn and grow. I’ve sometimes been on the phone with people for hours learning until it makes sense to me. And I can’t thank those people enough for helping me ❤ So I guess you can say I’ve grown out of my stubbornness.
In the world we live in it can be hard to stand out so sometimes people tend to follow what others are doing-they are being fake to themselves because they think what the other people are doing is best and it’s what’s working for them so why not follow them instead of being yourself. DON’T DO THIS. The WORST thing you can do for yourself is to NOT be yourself. YOU have a talent that you are supposed to share with the world, so SHARE IT. No one has the gift you do, whether that is teaching, writing, designing, coaching, cooking, etc. No one else is you. People like certain people because they are being themselves-genuine, real and vulnerable.
Having confidence in yourself and being fake are two completely different things. Confident people don’t have to “fake” something instead they’ll ask for help. Eventually being fake will grow old. If you’re following what everyone else is doing and they all decide to do something you don’t like, will you continue to be like them? Or will you have the courage to stand on your own and be yourself?
I hope if you are reading this message and can recognize that you aren’t being yourself, that you will show people who you are with your own special gift and break free from being fake. No more Fake It Till You Make It. Be Yourself and You’ll Make It. Happy Monday! ❤