Tag: experiences

Motivational Monday: Be the Hero of Your Life Not the Victim

I used to spend most of my life being the victim. Anytime anything would go wrong in my life I would be sad for longer than needed, including becoming depressed. But what I’ve realized over the past few years of rebuilding my life by living alone, having great therapists and a good support system of people I trust, is that you deserve to be the hero of your own life. While I have my support systems, I know that I am the only person who can change my life. No one is going to live your life every single day except you. No one can tell you how to live, where to live, pay your bills, do your job, etc. No one is you.

The moment of change for me, was when I recognized that my routine of unhappiness needed to change. By routine I mean, I’d come home from a job I didn’t enjoy, would be tired, constantly thinking negatively, reliving past trauma I’d experienced and go in the shower to be alone and sulk. One night while in this routine, I’d realized I needed to change. I was SICK of being unhappy. My happiness didn’t truly come until now (a few years later) but it only came because I put in the work. I left relationships that made me unhappy, I went to therapy once a week, I wrote love letters to myself to make myself feel better and eventually I moved into my own place, completely alone. I learned how to live with my past, changed jobs, lived in a place I could afford when everyone else told me to live elsewhere. The point is to know what’s best for yourself when you are stuck and can recognize you need to change. If you don’t recognize this within yourself yet, take a look at your daily routine – are you happy with it? Is it fulfilling? If not, then why? What do you NEED to do to make yourself happy? I’ll bet there is a calling within your mind telling you over and over again what you need and until you listen it will be pushed in the back of your mind. I promise when you listen and set yourself free you will feel better. ❤

Everyone needs a hero, and everyone needs themselves to be their own hero. When you stop playing the victim, you’ll open your eyes to an entirely new life. This new life will be one that you’ll never want to give up on or go back to your old ways. It will be so good, you’ll forget your old routine and only focus on your new one. Start small with your new routine, by picking out one thing at a time to change, and once you get a hang of it, try adding something else to it. This could be eating healthy dinners every night, which includes budgeting for meals, meal planning and cooking. Next, start a fitness routine, it is so good to move your body and once you begin this routine, your body will want to move (you’ll realize this after a month of working out or when you happen to miss a class). You can even try small things like listening to a podcast while doing dishes (a great way to learn while working) or playing music (a great way to make yourself happy and dance to move your body). Journal daily about your dreams and find small ways to make those dreams come true. Start with your big dream (the end goal) and work backwards by taking small steps to get there. Know that your dreams take work but that you can make them happen by putting in the work one day at a time.

Introducing small changes in your life means you’ll be changing your habits which will eventually become your routine. Put the work in to make yourself and your happiness a priority, and eventually you’ll realize you don’t have to be a victim to your circumstances, you’re already a hero because you’re devoting yourself to becoming the best version you can possibly be. ❤

Happy Monday, Loves ❤

Motivational Monday: A Reminder of the Realities of Life

Because of social media, we all have preconceived notions of what everyone’s lives look like. The reality is that no one will ever know what your life is like because no one can hear your thoughts. It doesn’t matter if you spend every single day with someone beside you, live with someone or see each other for eight hours a day. The thoughts, feelings, experiences and emotions a person can have won’t always be shared with everyone they know, let alone the internet. So then why do we think we know a person’s life so well? We have no idea how much that person struggled to get to where they are now. Things don’t just come to people out of the blue. Most people work for what they have. And while you may only see their success, they may always remember the failures, the times they were told No, the criticism and that may be the driving force to their success.

So, my suggestion to anyone who believes they truly know what someone’s life is like based on social media, is to just talk to them. Ask them how they got to where they are, why they are so happy all the time, how they became successful, etc. Everyone goes through so much in life and we all have a story to tell about why we are the way we are. Sharing and listening to life stories will change your perception and earn more respect towards people. Learning how to talk to people is better than always being envious over someone’s life. It may even help you understand something in your own life a little clearer.

Once you’ve talked to them you can take the lessons you’ve learned and change your mindset around where your life could go. If for some reason you can’t talk to them, learn from them by what they do show you online. If it’s always happy pictures, quotes, funny videos or their hobbies then take what they’re looking at and sharing daily and do the same for yourself to see how your mindset changes.

The biggest life lesson from anyone is one that changes your mindset to thinking more positively about life. Instead of thinking we know about everyone’s life online, try to take a cue from what they’re sharing and learn to bring positivity into your own life every day.

Happy Monday! ❤

Motivational Monday: Replace the Word Hard with Challenging

When I think of the word HARD, I think of something I can’t do. But when I think of the word Challenging, I think of something that I can do. Anything that is hard is good for you if you choose to see it that way. Whether it is something at work that’s hard, a workout class or learning something new.

A year ago, I had taken Pure Barre’s Reform class and deemed it too hard for me because of the moves that I thought I couldn’t do. So, I gave up because my mind set was that it was too hard. Then, the other night at class, I talked to a friend at barre who told me she liked Reform because it was challenging even for her (we both go to barre all week). That’s when I realized that if she and women twice my age can go to this class, then I can too. If it’s not too hard for them, it’s not for me either. So, this weekend I took my second Reform class and I realized it’s still just as difficult as it was a year ago. I still have trouble using a slider to pull my feet to my arms while in a plank position.

Looking at back my decision to not take this class anymore, I’d realized I was wrong to think this because all my barre classes are challenging. When I first started barre I could not hold a plank for 30 seconds or do pushups, I thought it was hard, but I kept going to class anyway because I enjoyed the challenge. I also enjoy seeing all that hard work change my body for the better. I must push myself in class every time to do my personal best. Even though I was the only one struggling while using the slider during that portion of Reform Saturday morning, maybe someone else was struggling in an area of class that I deemed less challenging. But here’s the mantra my teachers use in class and they are words to live by: WHAT DOESN’T CHALLENGE YOU WON’T CHANGE YOU.

So, today on this Monday morning, I am challenging you to do things outside of your comfort zone that you deem hard. Take the word hard out of your vocabulary and replace it with challenging because when something is hard, you’ll likely give up but when it’s challenging you will push through it. Push through everything that’s hard in life because you will come out stronger mentally and physically for it every time.

Happy Monday ❤

A Love Letter To My Readers On The One Year Blog Anniversary

Today marks my one-year blog anniversary! Thank you so much to everyone whose read/commented/followed my blog! I’ve also loved receiving all your feedback around the motivation I post on social media – @stylestomakeyousmile Whether it’s a post about a barre class, what I ate for dinner or a quote, I always love hearing from you guys and finding out what helps motivate you throughout your life by providing inspiration.

Motivational Monday – This concept came from an idea I had of learning and sharing a lesson with you all each week. There is something to be learned every day, and I took the most important lessons I could think of to share with you all.

Love Always, Amy Beth – This is a new concept I’ll be sharing once a month -they are love letters to you, my readers ❤ I began writing them a few years ago in order to help me get through a difficult time in my life, I thought, what would the strongest version of me say to myself to help me get through this? So, I began writing in a small notebook and decided to write 12 of them, publishing once a month and I hope you love them as much as I do ❤

When I first started the blog, I wanted to be a lifestyle blogger, and I wrote articles on motivation, fashion, food and blogging. The more I wrote, the more I realized what I enjoyed the most was motivational posts. They came naturally to me and it is where I plan to stay with my blog and social media.

While it’s been somewhat of a difficult year in my personal life, I’ve found that blogging was always a way to stay positive and do what I enjoy, and I hope you all can find your passions in life. I find that on social media we all see the beautiful finished pieces of content people have worked on, whether it’s a musician’s music, a book, a popular Instagram account with tons of followers, sometimes we all forget how much work goes into gaining the popularity and the amount of work people do every day to get to a finished product. I’ve learned blogging is not just about creating content, it’s about making connection with others online and meeting them in person. I’ve been lucky to be able to meet some beautiful bloggers who are truly talented and wonderful people and are SO supportive of what I do, and I’m very thankful for them ❤ The other huge lesson I’ve learned is to be yourself online! You don’t have to create the same type of content as someone else just because you see that it’s working for them. You just need to find what makes you happy and share that with the world. Whatever that is is what you will excel at because it’s something that interests you and is what you are knowledgeable in. Nobody is you, has the same mindset as you or can create the same content as you!

I’ve learned that some of the content I’ve put online will take off right away and others won’t. You must put a lot of thought into planning your content and know what you truly want to say. There have been weeks where I won’t put out any content on my blog because I haven’t thought of a good idea or my personal life is too hectic, and I need a break. I’ve realized I’ll always come back to blogging because it is my happy place, just like going to barre makes me happy. The two are similar in that they push me to strengthen my mind by telling myself I CAN do something – hold a plank for 90 seconds or write a new blog post. Do I always FEEL like working out or blogging? No. Somedays I’d rather be lazy and lay on the sofa all day and binge Netflix…and sometimes I need those days or weekends. But I also know I’ll eventually find the motivation to get back on my feet because I’m passionate about what I do.

So, with all that being said, I want to THANK YOU for reading my blog, liking my pictures on social media, following me and engaging with my content. You all have no idea how happy it makes me! I started writing in my notebooks a few years ago and had the idea to create a blog but never went through with it because I wasn’t in the right frame of mind, but I’m so happy I finally started this blog. I’m so grateful to you all for following me on my journey and I can’t wait to share more lessons I’ve learned in the future.

Love Always, Amy Beth

Life Lessons From 2018

Change for yourself-You’re the only one living your life, so all of your decisions will be for you. Make decisions that will bring you happiness in long run and trust yourself enough that a change is for the best, because it always is.

You cannot change anyone-Recognizing that everyone will do things on their own time is the key to realizing that you can’t change anyone. People will only change on their own. While you can give them advice, they must do the work to change themselves.

You cannot please everyone-As someone who has been a people pleaser for years, I’ve simply learned this year that I can’t please everyone. There will always be situations that occur where someone will not like your decision and that is OKAY.

Everyone has an opinion-Everyone will try to give you advice on what they think is best for you. The truth is, you’re the only one who knows what’s best for you because you’re the only one who can live your life. Not everything that everyone wants for you is possible, so knowing your boundaries of what can and can’t work for your life is key to recognizing what works and doesn’t work when it comes to someone else’s opinion of you.

Know your priorities-Knowing what you need to focus on for the next year as far as health, finances, personal and work goals are all crucial for a good year. Be realistic with yourself about what did and did not work with each of these and see how you can change each category for next year.

Listen to your body-Mental and physical health are SO important to living a long life. When you can recognize what your body needs such as: certain foods, sleep for eight hours, knowing when you need a break to be alone and recharge and how much exercise to get each week, your body will feel good. Once you can recognize all of this you’ll know when your body feels off.

Find Supportive People-The people in life you can talk to, accept you, challenge you and help you be your best self are worth keeping in life. They’ll believe in you, give you advice, make sure you are okay and listen to you.

Knowing when to end something-It’s always good to know when to end or leave something that is no longer working, whether that’s a relationship, job, home, etc., you’ll get a feeling that will tell you when to let go. Sometimes letting go of something can take years, but it’s all about doing things on your own time.

Know your worth-Always be confident in knowing your worth and value to anything and anyone.

Acceptance-Accepting where you are in life, what you need to change in order to make you happy and make decisions for yourself.

Don’t play the comparison game- You must do the work inside yourself to figure out what is causing you to compare your life to someone else’s. If it’s looking at someone else’s life and believing they have more than you, then reach out to them to see what their life is REALLY like, because I promise, no one’s life is as perfect as it seems. If you are on the receiving end of someone comparing your life to theirs, it is up to you to make peace within yourself of the way people perceive you.

Perspective is Everything-Life does NOT have to be SO HARD. It doesn’t have to be filled with anger, jealousy, hatred, sadness or negativity. Life can be whatever you want it to be. Choose to be happy, positive and believe in yourself. Make the best choices for you. You’re the only one who can live your life. Be nice to yourself, treat other’s well and be happy with your life.

Cheers to 2019!

Motivational Monday: Learning to Do Things In Our Own Time

If there is one thing I have learned from this entire year of 2018, it is that people will always do things in their own time. No matter how many people we seek (or not seek) advice from, people will always give their opinions of what you should or should not do with your life. The thing that I have learned is that you will only do things when you are ready to do them. Some decisions may seem simpler than others, however once you process them and can justify your own needs that is when you will make your own decisions.

Once you’ve decided to begin something, it can be easy to look back and wish you’d started earlier. However, you can’t start anything new if you aren’t in the right mind frame.

Sometimes dramatic events need to take place for your life to change and other times, you can get caught up with living a certain way until you are sick of it and decide to change. I think we become so used to making excuses for things even when we have a small interest in doing them, when if we would just start it might end up leading into something we’ve never dreamed of! Or that we might fall in love with doing whatever that thing is. If starting whatever it is that you want to start is seeming difficult, try taking small steps-write out what you want to start, begin for a short period of time to see how you like it and go from there. Whatever it is that’s on your mind that you want to begin, will continually come up until you start it! It’s your brains way of telling you what you NEED to be doing with your life! Whether that is eating healthier, going to bed earlier because you feel exhausted, starting a workout routine, changing jobs, beginning a hobby, whatever that feeling is, here is your permission to start.

I hope that for the New Year of 2019 you will look at things as easy to start because you listened to what you needed. I hope that whatever your desires are or feel your calling is, you can listen to yourself and begin to change. ❤

Motivational Monday: Promises to Myself

 I promise to listen to myself. You know those ideas that your mind keeps thinking of? They won’t go away until you listen to them and put into play what they are. The longer you ignore them (day after day, year after year) they’ll sit in the back of your mind. When your mind becomes clear they’ll appear. It is when you take action that those thoughts will be released. Once that happens, you’ll be able to drive upon those ideas and turn them into dreams and plans for yourself.

 I promise to always do what is best for me. Listening to yourself is the most important feeling in the world. It goes beyond what everyone else is doing, what the trends are-diets, clothes to buy, workouts, etc. You must know what makes you and your body feel the best then keep doing that.

 I promise to keep going. Dreaming is one thing but having plans are another. Your dreams can only go so far without a plan to action. Short or long term, all dreams and plans are important because you can’t get to one without the other. And, while everything seems hard in life, you must keep doing the work. If you give up, you end up going back to where you started. So, if you’ve already chosen to give up the life you’ve lived before, why would you want to go back? Remind yourself of this when times get hard and I promise you won’t want to go back.

 I promise to hold onto the people who get me. No matter what you do in life, everyone is going to have an opinion that you should be doing something different (even if you’re already doing what you enjoy). Very few people in this life will get you, so hold onto the one’s who do. The one’s who believe in your work, dreams and passion to fulfill your desires of doing more than you already are. Learn from the people who are in the midst of and accomplishing their dreams-manifest their lessons of the good times, the mistakes and hardships of what it takes. Listen to all their advice. Most importantly, cheer them on because they are the one’s who’ll continue to push you to your best self.

What promises do you make for yourself?

Motivational Monday – Self-Reflections

There are many types of self-reflections that work for people such as journaling and gratitude lists. One night I realized that I haven’t made the commitment to doing these, so instead I thought I’d do some mental self-reflections of how my day went. Reflecting on the day from start to finish. Being proud of the things I accomplished throughout the day or check off my to-do list. Recognizing what I could have done better to accomplish more or change my mood around certain things in my life.

When self-reflecting at the end of the day, this will help shed light on where your mood shifted throughout the day and when you build upon it to change for tomorrow, you’ll know better how to deal with that situation. Mindset and mood go hand in hand, so if you have a positive mindset your mood will reflect this. Although I will admit that not every day can be the best day ever because things will happen, but I’ll bet at the end of the night you can find one good thing about the day.

In what ways do you self-reflect?

Motivational Monday: Setting Expectations For Yourself Vs. Others

I’ve recently realized how much I say yes to others for fear of letting them down. I am set a bar for their expectations and am told not to let them down and not to let someone else rise above me. Because they expect me to do better than them from the results I’ve showed in the past.

So, why do I sometimes let myself down? I find that I am not always setting the bar for myself with personal goals. I let things go unfinished, don’t follow up, leave things hanging for a week or more until I get to it again, I’ll think of ideas but not write them down. This is the complete opposite of how I act with others, but why? Why am I giving myself permission to be one way to others and another way to myself? Why don’t I put myself and my goals on a pedestal the way others do for me? I should. We all should because our dreams and ideas matter. What we do for others matters just as much as what we can and should do for ourselves.

Let yourself be seen the way others see you. The way you should show yourself to them in your best light is how you need to show up for yourself. My cousin gave me great advice to set deadlines for myself once I think of an idea. This makes sense as I always set them to get things done for others. Besides a lot of the time, if I don’t do something for myself the first time around, it will manifest in my mind until I release it.

So, will you begin setting the same expectations for yourself as you do for others? I hope so. ❤

Motivational Monday: Don’t Fake It Till You Make It. Be Yourself And You’ll Make It.

In the first half of my career I heard the saying, Fake It Till You Make It, and because of this I HATE this saying. Let’s be honest does anyone REALLY enjoy being fake? No. If you don’t know how to do something, learn, research, ask, do anything BUT pretend you know what you’re doing. If you don’t know how to do something just admit it (I had no idea what I was doing when I started this blog, but I learned and never pretended I knew).

While growing up I was a huge victim of not asking people for help. I never told myself I would “fake it” I was just either too stubborn or embarrassed to ask for help. In my current position I get thrown into a LOT of situations where I have to learn how to do things from the ground up. So now, reframing from my old self I will ask every. single. question that comes to my mind because I realize I need to learn and grow. I’ve sometimes been on the phone with people for hours learning until it makes sense to me. And I can’t thank those people enough for helping me ❤ So I guess you can say I’ve grown out of my stubbornness.

In the world we live in it can be hard to stand out so sometimes people tend to follow what others are doing-they are being fake to themselves because they think what the other people are doing is best and it’s what’s working for them so why not follow them instead of being yourself. DON’T DO THIS. The WORST thing you can do for yourself is to NOT be yourself. YOU have a talent that you are supposed to share with the world, so SHARE IT. No one has the gift you do, whether that is teaching, writing, designing, coaching, cooking, etc. No one else is you. People like certain people because they are being themselves-genuine, real and vulnerable.

Having confidence in yourself and being fake are two completely different things. Confident people don’t have to “fake” something instead they’ll ask for help. Eventually being fake will grow old. If you’re following what everyone else is doing and they all decide to do something you don’t like, will you continue to be like them? Or will you have the courage to stand on your own and be yourself?

I hope if you are reading this message and can recognize that you aren’t being yourself, that you will show people who you are with your own special gift and break free from being fake. No more Fake It Till You Make It. Be Yourself and You’ll Make It. Happy Monday! ❤

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