Life Lessons From 2018

Change for yourself-You’re the only one living your life, so all of your decisions will be for you. Make decisions that will bring you happiness in long run and trust yourself enough that a change is for the best, because it always is.

You cannot change anyone-Recognizing that everyone will do things on their own time is the key to realizing that you can’t change anyone. People will only change on their own. While you can give them advice, they must do the work to change themselves.

You cannot please everyone-As someone who has been a people pleaser for years, I’ve simply learned this year that I can’t please everyone. There will always be situations that occur where someone will not like your decision and that is OKAY.

Everyone has an opinion-Everyone will try to give you advice on what they think is best for you. The truth is, you’re the only one who knows what’s best for you because you’re the only one who can live your life. Not everything that everyone wants for you is possible, so knowing your boundaries of what can and can’t work for your life is key to recognizing what works and doesn’t work when it comes to someone else’s opinion of you.

Know your priorities-Knowing what you need to focus on for the next year as far as health, finances, personal and work goals are all crucial for a good year. Be realistic with yourself about what did and did not work with each of these and see how you can change each category for next year.

Listen to your body-Mental and physical health are SO important to living a long life. When you can recognize what your body needs such as: certain foods, sleep for eight hours, knowing when you need a break to be alone and recharge and how much exercise to get each week, your body will feel good. Once you can recognize all of this you’ll know when your body feels off.

Find Supportive People-The people in life you can talk to, accept you, challenge you and help you be your best self are worth keeping in life. They’ll believe in you, give you advice, make sure you are okay and listen to you.

Knowing when to end something-It’s always good to know when to end or leave something that is no longer working, whether that’s a relationship, job, home, etc., you’ll get a feeling that will tell you when to let go. Sometimes letting go of something can take years, but it’s all about doing things on your own time.

Know your worth-Always be confident in knowing your worth and value to anything and anyone.

Acceptance-Accepting where you are in life, what you need to change in order to make you happy and make decisions for yourself.

Don’t play the comparison game- You must do the work inside yourself to figure out what is causing you to compare your life to someone else’s. If it’s looking at someone else’s life and believing they have more than you, then reach out to them to see what their life is REALLY like, because I promise, no one’s life is as perfect as it seems. If you are on the receiving end of someone comparing your life to theirs, it is up to you to make peace within yourself of the way people perceive you.

Perspective is Everything-Life does NOT have to be SO HARD. It doesn’t have to be filled with anger, jealousy, hatred, sadness or negativity. Life can be whatever you want it to be. Choose to be happy, positive and believe in yourself. Make the best choices for you. You’re the only one who can live your life. Be nice to yourself, treat other’s well and be happy with your life.

Cheers to 2019!

Motivational Monday: Learning to Do Things In Our Own Time

If there is one thing I have learned from this entire year of 2018, it is that people will always do things in their own time. No matter how many people we seek (or not seek) advice from, people will always give their opinions of what you should or should not do with your life. The thing that I have learned is that you will only do things when you are ready to do them. Some decisions may seem simpler than others, however once you process them and can justify your own needs that is when you will make your own decisions.

Once you’ve decided to begin something, it can be easy to look back and wish you’d started earlier. However, you can’t start anything new if you aren’t in the right mind frame.

Sometimes dramatic events need to take place for your life to change and other times, you can get caught up with living a certain way until you are sick of it and decide to change. I think we become so used to making excuses for things even when we have a small interest in doing them, when if we would just start it might end up leading into something we’ve never dreamed of! Or that we might fall in love with doing whatever that thing is. If starting whatever it is that you want to start is seeming difficult, try taking small steps-write out what you want to start, begin for a short period of time to see how you like it and go from there. Whatever it is that’s on your mind that you want to begin, will continually come up until you start it! It’s your brains way of telling you what you NEED to be doing with your life! Whether that is eating healthier, going to bed earlier because you feel exhausted, starting a workout routine, changing jobs, beginning a hobby, whatever that feeling is, here is your permission to start.

I hope that for the New Year of 2019 you will look at things as easy to start because you listened to what you needed. I hope that whatever your desires are or feel your calling is, you can listen to yourself and begin to change. ❤

Motivational Monday: Promises to Myself

 I promise to listen to myself. You know those ideas that your mind keeps thinking of? They won’t go away until you listen to them and put into play what they are. The longer you ignore them (day after day, year after year) they’ll sit in the back of your mind. When your mind becomes clear they’ll appear. It is when you take action that those thoughts will be released. Once that happens, you’ll be able to drive upon those ideas and turn them into dreams and plans for yourself.

 I promise to always do what is best for me. Listening to yourself is the most important feeling in the world. It goes beyond what everyone else is doing, what the trends are-diets, clothes to buy, workouts, etc. You must know what makes you and your body feel the best then keep doing that.

 I promise to keep going. Dreaming is one thing but having plans are another. Your dreams can only go so far without a plan to action. Short or long term, all dreams and plans are important because you can’t get to one without the other. And, while everything seems hard in life, you must keep doing the work. If you give up, you end up going back to where you started. So, if you’ve already chosen to give up the life you’ve lived before, why would you want to go back? Remind yourself of this when times get hard and I promise you won’t want to go back.

 I promise to hold onto the people who get me. No matter what you do in life, everyone is going to have an opinion that you should be doing something different (even if you’re already doing what you enjoy). Very few people in this life will get you, so hold onto the one’s who do. The one’s who believe in your work, dreams and passion to fulfill your desires of doing more than you already are. Learn from the people who are in the midst of and accomplishing their dreams-manifest their lessons of the good times, the mistakes and hardships of what it takes. Listen to all their advice. Most importantly, cheer them on because they are the one’s who’ll continue to push you to your best self.

What promises do you make for yourself?

Lessons I’m Grateful For.

Recognizing that I’m the only person who can control my mood, mind and life.

You don’t need to compare your life to anyone else’s. Why? Because everyone’s life is different. No one can have the same life. Even if theirs is a life you envy right now, it may not always be that way, or it may appear different than it actually is.

Every loved one I’ve ever lost has reminded me that life is so short. Look at their life and replicate the things that made them happy.

Having a support system is the best thing in life-I’ve learned who I can trust that will listen and give advice and then be that person for others when needed.

I’ve learned how to be resourceful when it is necessary. When your entire life turns upside down and you must start from the beginning. It’s made me realize that everything will always be okay.

You know the quote, “Missing someone gets easier every day?” It’s not true. It sucks to miss someone you’ll never see again. I’ve learned to hold onto their memories, laugh about the good times and think about them often. Remembering all the things that you do to make them proud always helps me to do better in life.

People will let you down in life but know that you don’t have to be upset over it forever and can move on.

Realize people can change. Even when they’ve done hurtful things. Everyone can change but it is only on their own time. You can only do so much to help them. Only they can help themselves.

I’m thankful to recognize at 32 that I can live my life how I want and not under the pressure of anyone else. Everyone will have an opinion about my life but I’m the only person who knows what I need when I need it.

Most importantly, I’m thankful for the life I’ve lived because it has taught me that positivity is the only way to get through life. The day will end, and tomorrow is a new day. Spend each day doing things you enjoy, there is always something good in every day. ❤

Motivational Monday – Self-Reflections

There are many types of self-reflections that work for people such as journaling and gratitude lists. One night I realized that I haven’t made the commitment to doing these, so instead I thought I’d do some mental self-reflections of how my day went. Reflecting on the day from start to finish. Being proud of the things I accomplished throughout the day or check off my to-do list. Recognizing what I could have done better to accomplish more or change my mood around certain things in my life.

When self-reflecting at the end of the day, this will help shed light on where your mood shifted throughout the day and when you build upon it to change for tomorrow, you’ll know better how to deal with that situation. Mindset and mood go hand in hand, so if you have a positive mindset your mood will reflect this. Although I will admit that not every day can be the best day ever because things will happen, but I’ll bet at the end of the night you can find one good thing about the day.

In what ways do you self-reflect?

Motivational Monday: Setting Expectations For Yourself Vs. Others

I’ve recently realized how much I say yes to others for fear of letting them down. I am set a bar for their expectations and am told not to let them down and not to let someone else rise above me. Because they expect me to do better than them from the results I’ve showed in the past.

So, why do I sometimes let myself down? I find that I am not always setting the bar for myself with personal goals. I let things go unfinished, don’t follow up, leave things hanging for a week or more until I get to it again, I’ll think of ideas but not write them down. This is the complete opposite of how I act with others, but why? Why am I giving myself permission to be one way to others and another way to myself? Why don’t I put myself and my goals on a pedestal the way others do for me? I should. We all should because our dreams and ideas matter. What we do for others matters just as much as what we can and should do for ourselves.

Let yourself be seen the way others see you. The way you should show yourself to them in your best light is how you need to show up for yourself. My cousin gave me great advice to set deadlines for myself once I think of an idea. This makes sense as I always set them to get things done for others. Besides a lot of the time, if I don’t do something for myself the first time around, it will manifest in my mind until I release it.

So, will you begin setting the same expectations for yourself as you do for others? I hope so. ❤

Motivational Monday: Don’t Fake It Till You Make It. Be Yourself And You’ll Make It.

In the first half of my career I heard the saying, Fake It Till You Make It, and because of this I HATE this saying. Let’s be honest does anyone REALLY enjoy being fake? No. If you don’t know how to do something, learn, research, ask, do anything BUT pretend you know what you’re doing. If you don’t know how to do something just admit it (I had no idea what I was doing when I started this blog, but I learned and never pretended I knew).

While growing up I was a huge victim of not asking people for help. I never told myself I would “fake it” I was just either too stubborn or embarrassed to ask for help. In my current position I get thrown into a LOT of situations where I have to learn how to do things from the ground up. So now, reframing from my old self I will ask every. single. question that comes to my mind because I realize I need to learn and grow. I’ve sometimes been on the phone with people for hours learning until it makes sense to me. And I can’t thank those people enough for helping me ❤ So I guess you can say I’ve grown out of my stubbornness.

In the world we live in it can be hard to stand out so sometimes people tend to follow what others are doing-they are being fake to themselves because they think what the other people are doing is best and it’s what’s working for them so why not follow them instead of being yourself. DON’T DO THIS. The WORST thing you can do for yourself is to NOT be yourself. YOU have a talent that you are supposed to share with the world, so SHARE IT. No one has the gift you do, whether that is teaching, writing, designing, coaching, cooking, etc. No one else is you. People like certain people because they are being themselves-genuine, real and vulnerable.

Having confidence in yourself and being fake are two completely different things. Confident people don’t have to “fake” something instead they’ll ask for help. Eventually being fake will grow old. If you’re following what everyone else is doing and they all decide to do something you don’t like, will you continue to be like them? Or will you have the courage to stand on your own and be yourself?

I hope if you are reading this message and can recognize that you aren’t being yourself, that you will show people who you are with your own special gift and break free from being fake. No more Fake It Till You Make It. Be Yourself and You’ll Make It. Happy Monday! ❤