Motivational Monday–Learning to Accept Your Life in the Moment

It’s easy to look back on your life and wish you were where you are now, a year or two ago. But what I’ve learned is that you can’t get to where you are presently without growing into the person you are now. You will always be a person who is ever changing and learning new things about themselves. You can become a different person every day and every year. Things you currently want you may not have wanted in the past. It’s with time and experiences that make us realize the new things we want in life. And it’s with those things that can reset our mindsets. To create a positive mindset, you must do the work it takes to get there, however that looks like for you whether that’s working out, going to therapy, eating healthier, starting a hobby or new job.

I believe the most important thing you can do for your mind is let it think without any influence from outside sources. What I mean by that is, go into a space completely alone like the shower or a walk outside alone and let your mind process things you’ve experienced whether that’s recently or from past experiences that you still need to work through. The point of doing this alone is to not let your mind wonder into the distractions going on around you. Once you’ve done this your mindset becomes clear and you’ll begin to understand what it is you truly want from life.

Sometimes so much goes on in our lives that we become stuck to the point where we don’t know what we need or how to get it. It can take a lot of self-discovery to understand what we truly need in our lives to become clear and focused. It is okay to take a break from a-n-y-thing in life. A short break or long one, doesn’t matter, if you know within yourself that a break is what’s needed then do so. A break doesn’t mean you’ve given up on yourself. A break means you have a lot going on in your life and need time just be. Time for yourself to rediscover what matters most to you. Learn to be okay with wherever you are at in life and know within yourself you’ll come out of it stronger than before.

I took a break from my blog for a while. I was going through a lot of personal development work within the past eight months of my life and for a short while decided I wanted to live in the moment and not share my life s much as I used to, and I was OKAY with that. While I love to write, share my thoughts and help women around the world with my work, I knew I needed to work on myself by working on the new changes being made so that I could come back stronger. My comeback was remembering my WHY for starting this blog.

Always remember to accept your life where it is today, don’t judge yourself or wish you could be farther along or wish you could have made changes years ago. We all need to process and go through things at our own pace and in our own way and there’s never any judgement for that. The process of change takes however long you decide it needs, and with taking action, change of habits and a positive attitude you can change your life. Always take time for yourself to process and change and accept your life where it is in the moment, today.

Happy Monday Loves ❤
How have you learned to accept your life for what it is?

Motivational Monday: The Permission Slip to Life

Have you ever waited for someone to give you permission to start something? I’ll bet you have. And chances are that permission that came from someone else started with an idea you had for yourself. So why do we wait so long to begin something until we have permission or continually ask others if something is good enough before we begin?

Why is it that we wait until we absolutely must do something in order to start? Until the doctor gives us permission to change the diet or to lose a job we hate before starting a job we love. Why can’t we say yes to ourselves? To the things that make us happy. Or knowing what you want to do will take work but make excuses for ourselves that we can’t do something until someone else tells us we can.

Stop letting everyone else give you permission to change your life, and just start. No one else can do the work for you. You must make time for yourself, even if it’s an hour a day. Let that time be your alone time to think about what you want for yourself. Figure out a plan of how to change yourself for the better then start it. Your happiness depends on how hard you work for yourself.
Personally, I often look to others who are already doing things I want to do. Those people will always tell you to start. Start when you have no idea what you’re doing but start because you want to. Trust that you’ll figure things out as you go. Stop waiting for someone else to tell you you’re good enough. A successful person will never look down on you for trying. They’ve been there and understand the work it takes. Everyone has had failures and successes because it’s all part of life.

I’ve also learned that if I don’t start what I want to, I’ll continually think about it repeatedly until starting. I even become angry at myself when I know I can do more. Do you ever feel that way? You have a dream for yourself and spend time avoiding it to take the easy way of life; watching TV instead of exercising, or instead of reading a book, but because you make excuses or are too tired you don’t start. I believe there is a difference in taking time for yourself with self-care and completely avoiding in what you should be starting. It’s easier to avoid than it is to start but I believe that if you start, you’ll be happier, you just have to keep going.

Today, give yourself the permission to say YES to yourself. Today, give yourself permission to believe in yourself instead of seeking approval from others. No one is going to live your life the way you will. You don’t need permission from anyone else other than yourself to start. Once you start, seek out people who’ll support you. You may find people who will criticize you, but just keep going and find people who’ll give you the same permission you give yourself, which is to keep going.

Happy Monday, Loves! ❤

Motivational Monday: Be the Hero of Your Life Not the Victim

I used to spend most of my life being the victim. Anytime anything would go wrong in my life I would be sad for longer than needed, including becoming depressed. But what I’ve realized over the past few years of rebuilding my life by living alone, having great therapists and a good support system of people I trust, is that you deserve to be the hero of your own life. While I have my support systems, I know that I am the only person who can change my life. No one is going to live your life every single day except you. No one can tell you how to live, where to live, pay your bills, do your job, etc. No one is you.

The moment of change for me, was when I recognized that my routine of unhappiness needed to change. By routine I mean, I’d come home from a job I didn’t enjoy, would be tired, constantly thinking negatively, reliving past trauma I’d experienced and go in the shower to be alone and sulk. One night while in this routine, I’d realized I needed to change. I was SICK of being unhappy. My happiness didn’t truly come until now (a few years later) but it only came because I put in the work. I left relationships that made me unhappy, I went to therapy once a week, I wrote love letters to myself to make myself feel better and eventually I moved into my own place, completely alone. I learned how to live with my past, changed jobs, lived in a place I could afford when everyone else told me to live elsewhere. The point is to know what’s best for yourself when you are stuck and can recognize you need to change. If you don’t recognize this within yourself yet, take a look at your daily routine – are you happy with it? Is it fulfilling? If not, then why? What do you NEED to do to make yourself happy? I’ll bet there is a calling within your mind telling you over and over again what you need and until you listen it will be pushed in the back of your mind. I promise when you listen and set yourself free you will feel better. ❤

Everyone needs a hero, and everyone needs themselves to be their own hero. When you stop playing the victim, you’ll open your eyes to an entirely new life. This new life will be one that you’ll never want to give up on or go back to your old ways. It will be so good, you’ll forget your old routine and only focus on your new one. Start small with your new routine, by picking out one thing at a time to change, and once you get a hang of it, try adding something else to it. This could be eating healthy dinners every night, which includes budgeting for meals, meal planning and cooking. Next, start a fitness routine, it is so good to move your body and once you begin this routine, your body will want to move (you’ll realize this after a month of working out or when you happen to miss a class). You can even try small things like listening to a podcast while doing dishes (a great way to learn while working) or playing music (a great way to make yourself happy and dance to move your body). Journal daily about your dreams and find small ways to make those dreams come true. Start with your big dream (the end goal) and work backwards by taking small steps to get there. Know that your dreams take work but that you can make them happen by putting in the work one day at a time.

Introducing small changes in your life means you’ll be changing your habits which will eventually become your routine. Put the work in to make yourself and your happiness a priority, and eventually you’ll realize you don’t have to be a victim to your circumstances, you’re already a hero because you’re devoting yourself to becoming the best version you can possibly be. ❤

Happy Monday, Loves ❤

Motivational Monday: Be the Visionary for Your Life

When I was growing up, I had a vivid imagination. My best friend and I would play in the backyard (which was the woods) and we’d go on adventures, tell stories and act them out. We even created our own radio show with a small tape recorder and microphones. Once I got into third grade, I realized I had a photographic memory that tied into my visual mind. I knew that by looking at something-words or pictures I could remember it. I could close my eyes and see the answers. Another thing I’d learned at a young age was a love for writing. While I struggled with writing back then, it made me work hard to learn how to write properly. I’d always find myself taking out a notebook and writing about my day or keeping a journal to write about the boy(s) I liked. I also would write short stories that I’d imagine in my mind and bring to life on paper. The year I graduated college, I sat at a coffee shop to have lunch by myself and dreamed about interviewing someone for a magazine I had written. Throughout my working life I’d always think about jobs I wished I’d had and thought about all the ways I could provide the company with great ideas. Then, I began reading blogs and realizing that if normal people could write their ideas and have people read them, without the celebrity status or people just in general knowing who you are, then I could too.

As an adult, I have taken my imagination to the next level by using it as a building block for a positive mindset. I use my imagination to envision where I want my life to go. Everything from where I want to vacation, who I want to surround myself with and what I want for my life. I let my mind wander all the time and take my dreams as far as I can. I’ll even dream as I’m walking through a store while shopping. I know that a blog can turn into a business, I’ve seen it with other people. I know that if you surround yourself with people who work just as hard as you or harder, they can be inspiration for you. I know if you choose to go on a vacation where you’ll learn something, like at a conference or master mind, you’ll come home a new person. However, you must do more than just envision, you must do the work. The work can be messy but if you’ve started that’s what’s important. If you try, it means you didn’t give up on yourself. When you put the work in it means you’re determined.

Today, as a 32-year-old woman I close my eyes and see the answers to the vision of my life: the answer is that I can have the life I envision. You have an imagination for a reason, and you were put on this planet for a reason. I believe you were born to live out your vision for your life, all you have to do is start.

Happy Monday Loves! Check out my social media pages on Instagram and Facebook at: Stylestomakeyousmile

Motivational Monday: My Tips for a Positive Morning Mindset

My Tips for a Positive Morning Mindset

I know it can be difficult to get out of bed some mornings, especially on days when you don’t feel like it, don’t feel good or didn’t get a good night’s sleep. For the past five years I would figure out what time I had to leave for work and how long it takes me to get ready which includes eating breakfast, set my alarm for the exact time and get up. During those days I was tired, not wanting to go to work and didn’t start my day on a positive note.

Over the past few years I’ve found several podcasts through Instagram that I enjoy which include-Style Your Mind by Cara Alwill Leyba, Earn Your Happy by Lori Harder, Becoming Fearless by Annie Spano, The Angie Lee Show by Angie Lee and Rise podcast by Rachel Hollis. I began to wake up at the same time every day but would turn on one of these podcasts and listen to them in the morning (and sometimes continued listening on my commute to work). Listening to such inspiring podcasts in the morning made me happy and started my day with a positive mindset. The more I listened to these podcasts the longer I’d want to sit and listen to them in bed. So, I began each morning getting up earlier to eat breakfast in bed while listening to them. I’d finish eating and just sit in bed until I knew I had to get up. While listening in bed, I’d take in everything and think about what their words meant for my own life. The point of any motivational podcast is to be relatable to your own life. I encourage you all to find a podcast you can listen to in the morning that best relates to your life. If you use any of my recommendations, please let me know! I’d love to chat about them! 😊

Other than podcasts, there are some mornings where all I want to do is have a dance party. When I was growing up, I would wake up an hour and a half before the bus came and for much of my morning, I would be in my bedroom with the door closed and blast my boom box (omg I feel old for writing those two words, haha!) playing songs that made me dance. Not much has changed since my childhood of love for music. So, I’ll go YouTube and play songs I love that make me want to get out of bed and dance-like George Michael’s Faith. I listen to everything from 80’s, 90’s and music from my favorite movies, like I Say A Little Prayer for You from My Best Friend’s Wedding (sometimes I’ll find the movie clip and watch it while singing to it). I turn on the song before I even get out of bed. Just hearing the music makes me want to get out of bed to dance. I play songs that make me dance from the time I get out of bed while getting ready until I walk out the door for work then I continue the dance party in my car while driving to work by finding songs I enjoy listening to.

Each morning when I wake up, I can recognize if I’m in the mood for music or to listen to a podcast or both. Most podcasts are under an hour long, so if you wake up early enough you can have time for both. No matter what is going on in my life, listening to podcasts and music always sets the tone for a positive morning. These two things are meant to make you happy and feel good about yourself so that is how you should begin each morning. ❤

Here’s a few more tips I came up with to make your morning positive:
1.Dancing to music 2. Eat Breakfast 3. Get Out of Bed Earlier Than Expected-even if it’s just a half hour 4. Work on your hobby 5. Post something positive to social media for your friends to see.

What makes you start your morning on a positive note? Let me know in the comments below or on social media @stylestomakeyousmile

Motivational Monday: A Lesson in Timelines and Goals

Throughout your life, you’ve probably thought you’d like to achieve certain goals by a particular age. Maybe you want to be married by thirty, have a kid two years later or be established in your career by age thirty-five. Then as that age approaches you find yourself not at the job you dreamed of or aren’t in a relationship where the other person wants to get married…there are a million scenarios of what why your goals aren’t being met. The upside to not having your goals met is that you realize why something didn’t work out the way you wanted. Maybe you need to find yourself in a new relationship or find a new job that you can grow in. It also lets you see what you do and don’t want from life.

Don’t let your timelines for yourself dictate your life. The problem with not achieving timeline goals when it comes to a career or relationship is that it can be very disappointing. The key is to be relaxed in what you want to happen and let things come as are. Live out your life without a deadline of needing something to happen by a certain age or timeframe. This will take the pressure off, so you won’t have to be so hard on yourself. The more you express to others what you want in life, the better off you’ll be because people can then understand your wants and needs.

I’ll bet if you go through what your plans were from a young age until now, they’ve probably changed a bit. Restructure your mindset so that you know what you’d like to happen in your life but be okay with knowing it might not happen at all or if it doesn’t at the age you wanted, it’s okay because there is still time. Every bit of life is a lesson always teaching you what you need to learn and grow. Listen and learn from those lessons, they’ll make you realize what you need in the future.

Happy Monday!

❤ Always, Amy Beth

Motivational Monday- The True Importance of Knowing When to Say YES to Yourself

Do you ever have those days/weeks/years where everything that could go wrong does? You lose your job, your car breaks down, you slept in late, you get sick, your relationship fell apart. Any time that you have a setback, you still need to say yes to yourself. That project you’ve been meaning to work on, hobby you’ve been wanting to start or anything you’ve been putting off, those are the things you need to listen to yourself about while your setbacks are in full swing. The reason being that the things you’ve been wanting to do, you’ve been manifesting and those are the things you need to say yes to. They will drive you out of the negativity while the setbacks are happening.

When you say yes to yourself, you are giving yourself the opportunity to learn, grow and give yourself a small amount of happiness. It doesn’t matter if you don’t have a clue as to what you’re doing, you learn and grow from the start, but the key is to just start! When you say yes, just one time, you’ll learn to say it more. So much more in fact, that you’ll eventually find and meet people who’ll believe in your mission and you. You’ll learn from these people and become best friends with them. They’ll help you and you’ll help them, because we all need people to grow with.

The true importance of saying yes to yourself is simply, knowing that you can say yes. Don’t let people tell you that you can’t or that you aren’t good enough or not smart enough. The longer you say no, the more disappointed you’ll be in yourself until you say yes.
So, what will you say YES to for yourself today?

Happy Monday!

P.S. This post was inspired from purchasing a ticket to Pays To Be Brave, in California this fall. If any of you are going, please let me know in the comments or on social media, at @stylestomakeyousmile on Facebook or Instagram.

Motivational Monday: A Reminder of the Realities of Life

Because of social media, we all have preconceived notions of what everyone’s lives look like. The reality is that no one will ever know what your life is like because no one can hear your thoughts. It doesn’t matter if you spend every single day with someone beside you, live with someone or see each other for eight hours a day. The thoughts, feelings, experiences and emotions a person can have won’t always be shared with everyone they know, let alone the internet. So then why do we think we know a person’s life so well? We have no idea how much that person struggled to get to where they are now. Things don’t just come to people out of the blue. Most people work for what they have. And while you may only see their success, they may always remember the failures, the times they were told No, the criticism and that may be the driving force to their success.

So, my suggestion to anyone who believes they truly know what someone’s life is like based on social media, is to just talk to them. Ask them how they got to where they are, why they are so happy all the time, how they became successful, etc. Everyone goes through so much in life and we all have a story to tell about why we are the way we are. Sharing and listening to life stories will change your perception and earn more respect towards people. Learning how to talk to people is better than always being envious over someone’s life. It may even help you understand something in your own life a little clearer.

Once you’ve talked to them you can take the lessons you’ve learned and change your mindset around where your life could go. If for some reason you can’t talk to them, learn from them by what they do show you online. If it’s always happy pictures, quotes, funny videos or their hobbies then take what they’re looking at and sharing daily and do the same for yourself to see how your mindset changes.

The biggest life lesson from anyone is one that changes your mindset to thinking more positively about life. Instead of thinking we know about everyone’s life online, try to take a cue from what they’re sharing and learn to bring positivity into your own life every day.

Happy Monday! ❤

Dear Confident Woman

Dear Confident Woman,

I know you’ve been there for a long time. Wanting to believe in yourself even when other people didn’t. I know you’ve followed others for many years believing you had to be someone you aren’t because that’s who they told you you had to be in order to be successful and fit in. If you didn’t dress like them you were made fun of, you were told you lacked confidence in yourself, you were told you weren’t good enough. Yet, deep inside yourself and from the recognition of the right people you knew you were confident.

I know you smile and are happy to the world because that’s what you know how to do. And I know people make fun of you for always having a “goody-goody” personality and a “goody two shoes” attitude. Maybe it’s because you’ve always wanted to see the good in people when people weren’t very nice to you. Yet, I know the things people say about you, have hurt you. You just chose not to let those people see it.

So, in order to be free from those words you’ve heard for many years I want you to know that YOU are a confident woman. You don’t have to listen to those people who tell you differently. YOU are good enough. In fact, every single day you are better than before because you are a person YOU love. You stick to your morals and values no matter what other’s say. You consistently make yourself better, put yourself out there, do things alone because you know it is okay to treat yourself to a date. What keeps you going from other’s negativity is that they have NO idea what you’ve been through. They have no right to determine what your confidence level is because they aren’t you. Sure, you can always listen to critiques and better yourself but remember your past is your own and no one else has come as far as you have to be the confident woman you are.

Keep smiling, laughing and having a “goody-goody” attitude. Why? Because life is short. It is better to see the world you live in in a positive light for this short time. It is better to laugh off the lies people tell you than to believe them. Spend more time laughing than crying. It is better to listen to the positive things you say to yourself than the negative things people say to you. Choose to be around confident people who light you up, motivate you, believe in you and give to you.

Remember that today, you are lucky to be alive on this planet. It does not matter what anyone says about you. It matters that you believe in yourself and you see this world in positive ways. So, to the people who’ll try to hurt you next, (because there will always be someone who will try to) remember to tell yourself: YOU ARE A CONFIDENT WOMAN WHO CAN DO ANYTHING YOU PUT YOUR MIND TO AND YOU ARE NOT GOING TO ALLOW THEIR NEGATIVE WORDS TO CHANGE WHO YOU ARE BECAUSE WHO YOU ARE IS A CONFIDENT WOMAN.

❤ Always, Amy Beth

P.S. If I’ve learned anything from all the lies I’ve heard about myself, it’s this: It is okay to be sad that people think of you a certain way, but it does not mean it is true. It’s not good for you to stay in sadness. You can better yourself, be happy and choose what to believe. Only YOU control your mind, so tell yourself you are a confident woman who can do anything and keep going. ❤

Motivational Monday: Replace the Word Hard with Challenging

When I think of the word HARD, I think of something I can’t do. But when I think of the word Challenging, I think of something that I can do. Anything that is hard is good for you if you choose to see it that way. Whether it is something at work that’s hard, a workout class or learning something new.

A year ago, I had taken Pure Barre’s Reform class and deemed it too hard for me because of the moves that I thought I couldn’t do. So, I gave up because my mind set was that it was too hard. Then, the other night at class, I talked to a friend at barre who told me she liked Reform because it was challenging even for her (we both go to barre all week). That’s when I realized that if she and women twice my age can go to this class, then I can too. If it’s not too hard for them, it’s not for me either. So, this weekend I took my second Reform class and I realized it’s still just as difficult as it was a year ago. I still have trouble using a slider to pull my feet to my arms while in a plank position.

Looking at back my decision to not take this class anymore, I’d realized I was wrong to think this because all my barre classes are challenging. When I first started barre I could not hold a plank for 30 seconds or do pushups, I thought it was hard, but I kept going to class anyway because I enjoyed the challenge. I also enjoy seeing all that hard work change my body for the better. I must push myself in class every time to do my personal best. Even though I was the only one struggling while using the slider during that portion of Reform Saturday morning, maybe someone else was struggling in an area of class that I deemed less challenging. But here’s the mantra my teachers use in class and they are words to live by: WHAT DOESN’T CHALLENGE YOU WON’T CHANGE YOU.

So, today on this Monday morning, I am challenging you to do things outside of your comfort zone that you deem hard. Take the word hard out of your vocabulary and replace it with challenging because when something is hard, you’ll likely give up but when it’s challenging you will push through it. Push through everything that’s hard in life because you will come out stronger mentally and physically for it every time.

Happy Monday ❤