Motivational Monday: A Reminder of the Realities of Life

Because of social media, we all have preconceived notions of what everyone’s lives look like. The reality is that no one will ever know what your life is like because no one can hear your thoughts. It doesn’t matter if you spend every single day with someone beside you, live with someone or see each other for eight hours a day. The thoughts, feelings, experiences and emotions a person can have won’t always be shared with everyone they know, let alone the internet. So then why do we think we know a person’s life so well? We have no idea how much that person struggled to get to where they are now. Things don’t just come to people out of the blue. Most people work for what they have. And while you may only see their success, they may always remember the failures, the times they were told No, the criticism and that may be the driving force to their success.

So, my suggestion to anyone who believes they truly know what someone’s life is like based on social media, is to just talk to them. Ask them how they got to where they are, why they are so happy all the time, how they became successful, etc. Everyone goes through so much in life and we all have a story to tell about why we are the way we are. Sharing and listening to life stories will change your perception and earn more respect towards people. Learning how to talk to people is better than always being envious over someone’s life. It may even help you understand something in your own life a little clearer.

Once you’ve talked to them you can take the lessons you’ve learned and change your mindset around where your life could go. If for some reason you can’t talk to them, learn from them by what they do show you online. If it’s always happy pictures, quotes, funny videos or their hobbies then take what they’re looking at and sharing daily and do the same for yourself to see how your mindset changes.

The biggest life lesson from anyone is one that changes your mindset to thinking more positively about life. Instead of thinking we know about everyone’s life online, try to take a cue from what they’re sharing and learn to bring positivity into your own life every day.

Happy Monday! ❤

Dear Confident Woman

Dear Confident Woman,

I know you’ve been there for a long time. Wanting to believe in yourself even when other people didn’t. I know you’ve followed others for many years believing you had to be someone you aren’t because that’s who they told you you had to be in order to be successful and fit in. If you didn’t dress like them you were made fun of, you were told you lacked confidence in yourself, you were told you weren’t good enough. Yet, deep inside yourself and from the recognition of the right people you knew you were confident.

I know you smile and are happy to the world because that’s what you know how to do. And I know people make fun of you for always having a “goody-goody” personality and a “goody two shoes” attitude. Maybe it’s because you’ve always wanted to see the good in people when people weren’t very nice to you. Yet, I know the things people say about you, have hurt you. You just chose not to let those people see it.

So, in order to be free from those words you’ve heard for many years I want you to know that YOU are a confident woman. You don’t have to listen to those people who tell you differently. YOU are good enough. In fact, every single day you are better than before because you are a person YOU love. You stick to your morals and values no matter what other’s say. You consistently make yourself better, put yourself out there, do things alone because you know it is okay to treat yourself to a date. What keeps you going from other’s negativity is that they have NO idea what you’ve been through. They have no right to determine what your confidence level is because they aren’t you. Sure, you can always listen to critiques and better yourself but remember your past is your own and no one else has come as far as you have to be the confident woman you are.

Keep smiling, laughing and having a “goody-goody” attitude. Why? Because life is short. It is better to see the world you live in in a positive light for this short time. It is better to laugh off the lies people tell you than to believe them. Spend more time laughing than crying. It is better to listen to the positive things you say to yourself than the negative things people say to you. Choose to be around confident people who light you up, motivate you, believe in you and give to you.

Remember that today, you are lucky to be alive on this planet. It does not matter what anyone says about you. It matters that you believe in yourself and you see this world in positive ways. So, to the people who’ll try to hurt you next, (because there will always be someone who will try to) remember to tell yourself: YOU ARE A CONFIDENT WOMAN WHO CAN DO ANYTHING YOU PUT YOUR MIND TO AND YOU ARE NOT GOING TO ALLOW THEIR NEGATIVE WORDS TO CHANGE WHO YOU ARE BECAUSE WHO YOU ARE IS A CONFIDENT WOMAN.

❤ Always, Amy Beth

P.S. If I’ve learned anything from all the lies I’ve heard about myself, it’s this: It is okay to be sad that people think of you a certain way, but it does not mean it is true. It’s not good for you to stay in sadness. You can better yourself, be happy and choose what to believe. Only YOU control your mind, so tell yourself you are a confident woman who can do anything and keep going. ❤

Motivational Monday: Replace the Word Hard with Challenging

When I think of the word HARD, I think of something I can’t do. But when I think of the word Challenging, I think of something that I can do. Anything that is hard is good for you if you choose to see it that way. Whether it is something at work that’s hard, a workout class or learning something new.

A year ago, I had taken Pure Barre’s Reform class and deemed it too hard for me because of the moves that I thought I couldn’t do. So, I gave up because my mind set was that it was too hard. Then, the other night at class, I talked to a friend at barre who told me she liked Reform because it was challenging even for her (we both go to barre all week). That’s when I realized that if she and women twice my age can go to this class, then I can too. If it’s not too hard for them, it’s not for me either. So, this weekend I took my second Reform class and I realized it’s still just as difficult as it was a year ago. I still have trouble using a slider to pull my feet to my arms while in a plank position.

Looking at back my decision to not take this class anymore, I’d realized I was wrong to think this because all my barre classes are challenging. When I first started barre I could not hold a plank for 30 seconds or do pushups, I thought it was hard, but I kept going to class anyway because I enjoyed the challenge. I also enjoy seeing all that hard work change my body for the better. I must push myself in class every time to do my personal best. Even though I was the only one struggling while using the slider during that portion of Reform Saturday morning, maybe someone else was struggling in an area of class that I deemed less challenging. But here’s the mantra my teachers use in class and they are words to live by: WHAT DOESN’T CHALLENGE YOU WON’T CHANGE YOU.

So, today on this Monday morning, I am challenging you to do things outside of your comfort zone that you deem hard. Take the word hard out of your vocabulary and replace it with challenging because when something is hard, you’ll likely give up but when it’s challenging you will push through it. Push through everything that’s hard in life because you will come out stronger mentally and physically for it every time.

Happy Monday ❤

A Love Letter To My Readers On The One Year Blog Anniversary

Today marks my one-year blog anniversary! Thank you so much to everyone whose read/commented/followed my blog! I’ve also loved receiving all your feedback around the motivation I post on social media – @stylestomakeyousmile Whether it’s a post about a barre class, what I ate for dinner or a quote, I always love hearing from you guys and finding out what helps motivate you throughout your life by providing inspiration.

Motivational Monday – This concept came from an idea I had of learning and sharing a lesson with you all each week. There is something to be learned every day, and I took the most important lessons I could think of to share with you all.

Love Always, Amy Beth – This is a new concept I’ll be sharing once a month -they are love letters to you, my readers ❤ I began writing them a few years ago in order to help me get through a difficult time in my life, I thought, what would the strongest version of me say to myself to help me get through this? So, I began writing in a small notebook and decided to write 12 of them, publishing once a month and I hope you love them as much as I do ❤

When I first started the blog, I wanted to be a lifestyle blogger, and I wrote articles on motivation, fashion, food and blogging. The more I wrote, the more I realized what I enjoyed the most was motivational posts. They came naturally to me and it is where I plan to stay with my blog and social media.

While it’s been somewhat of a difficult year in my personal life, I’ve found that blogging was always a way to stay positive and do what I enjoy, and I hope you all can find your passions in life. I find that on social media we all see the beautiful finished pieces of content people have worked on, whether it’s a musician’s music, a book, a popular Instagram account with tons of followers, sometimes we all forget how much work goes into gaining the popularity and the amount of work people do every day to get to a finished product. I’ve learned blogging is not just about creating content, it’s about making connection with others online and meeting them in person. I’ve been lucky to be able to meet some beautiful bloggers who are truly talented and wonderful people and are SO supportive of what I do, and I’m very thankful for them ❤ The other huge lesson I’ve learned is to be yourself online! You don’t have to create the same type of content as someone else just because you see that it’s working for them. You just need to find what makes you happy and share that with the world. Whatever that is is what you will excel at because it’s something that interests you and is what you are knowledgeable in. Nobody is you, has the same mindset as you or can create the same content as you!

I’ve learned that some of the content I’ve put online will take off right away and others won’t. You must put a lot of thought into planning your content and know what you truly want to say. There have been weeks where I won’t put out any content on my blog because I haven’t thought of a good idea or my personal life is too hectic, and I need a break. I’ve realized I’ll always come back to blogging because it is my happy place, just like going to barre makes me happy. The two are similar in that they push me to strengthen my mind by telling myself I CAN do something – hold a plank for 90 seconds or write a new blog post. Do I always FEEL like working out or blogging? No. Somedays I’d rather be lazy and lay on the sofa all day and binge Netflix…and sometimes I need those days or weekends. But I also know I’ll eventually find the motivation to get back on my feet because I’m passionate about what I do.

So, with all that being said, I want to THANK YOU for reading my blog, liking my pictures on social media, following me and engaging with my content. You all have no idea how happy it makes me! I started writing in my notebooks a few years ago and had the idea to create a blog but never went through with it because I wasn’t in the right frame of mind, but I’m so happy I finally started this blog. I’m so grateful to you all for following me on my journey and I can’t wait to share more lessons I’ve learned in the future.

Love Always, Amy Beth

Motivational Monday: The Importance of Compliments and Saying Thank You

It is SO important to say thank you, to compliment others and to tell them what a great job they are doing daily. Especially, for anyone who is struggling with a difficult situation or going through the motions of their day. It is such a nice gesture to show up on a text message, email, phone call or by mail to make a compliment or say thank you. By doing this, you may have just made someone’s day. You may have made them realize that their hard work is paying off. Even more so, you have may made them feel like whatever you complimented them on means they should continue to do the work they’re doing. If you receive a compliment about your work or yourself, hold onto it. Think about it during a negative situation or share it with someone else. The more you remind yourself of what someone else said, the happier you’ll be.

When someone compliments you for the hard work you’ve done all month or reaches out to say that they’ve enjoyed your work, or was generous with their time or money, always say thank you to them. Saying thank you means just as much to someone as a compliment and it is just as important. Thank you means you’ve acknowledged what they’ve done for you.

I know from personal experience it can be hard to listen to someone’s compliments when you feel stuck. It’s easy to say Thank You and continue to be upset while staying in a negative headspace. However, if someone is taking the time to really say that they are proud of you, will be there for you or just want to make sure you are okay then that is a person you want to hold onto. Knowing they’ve reached out once means you can reach out when you need support.

There will always be difficult experiences in life and there will also be loving people to compliment how well you’re dealing with that experience. When you feel stuck, remember their compliments of what a great job you’re doing while going through hard times and always remember to tell them thank you for thinking of you.

What was something nice someone said to you while going through a difficult time? Or what was a wonderful compliment someone gave you recently?

Life Lessons From 2018

Change for yourself-You’re the only one living your life, so all of your decisions will be for you. Make decisions that will bring you happiness in long run and trust yourself enough that a change is for the best, because it always is.

You cannot change anyone-Recognizing that everyone will do things on their own time is the key to realizing that you can’t change anyone. People will only change on their own. While you can give them advice, they must do the work to change themselves.

You cannot please everyone-As someone who has been a people pleaser for years, I’ve simply learned this year that I can’t please everyone. There will always be situations that occur where someone will not like your decision and that is OKAY.

Everyone has an opinion-Everyone will try to give you advice on what they think is best for you. The truth is, you’re the only one who knows what’s best for you because you’re the only one who can live your life. Not everything that everyone wants for you is possible, so knowing your boundaries of what can and can’t work for your life is key to recognizing what works and doesn’t work when it comes to someone else’s opinion of you.

Know your priorities-Knowing what you need to focus on for the next year as far as health, finances, personal and work goals are all crucial for a good year. Be realistic with yourself about what did and did not work with each of these and see how you can change each category for next year.

Listen to your body-Mental and physical health are SO important to living a long life. When you can recognize what your body needs such as: certain foods, sleep for eight hours, knowing when you need a break to be alone and recharge and how much exercise to get each week, your body will feel good. Once you can recognize all of this you’ll know when your body feels off.

Find Supportive People-The people in life you can talk to, accept you, challenge you and help you be your best self are worth keeping in life. They’ll believe in you, give you advice, make sure you are okay and listen to you.

Knowing when to end something-It’s always good to know when to end or leave something that is no longer working, whether that’s a relationship, job, home, etc., you’ll get a feeling that will tell you when to let go. Sometimes letting go of something can take years, but it’s all about doing things on your own time.

Know your worth-Always be confident in knowing your worth and value to anything and anyone.

Acceptance-Accepting where you are in life, what you need to change in order to make you happy and make decisions for yourself.

Don’t play the comparison game- You must do the work inside yourself to figure out what is causing you to compare your life to someone else’s. If it’s looking at someone else’s life and believing they have more than you, then reach out to them to see what their life is REALLY like, because I promise, no one’s life is as perfect as it seems. If you are on the receiving end of someone comparing your life to theirs, it is up to you to make peace within yourself of the way people perceive you.

Perspective is Everything-Life does NOT have to be SO HARD. It doesn’t have to be filled with anger, jealousy, hatred, sadness or negativity. Life can be whatever you want it to be. Choose to be happy, positive and believe in yourself. Make the best choices for you. You’re the only one who can live your life. Be nice to yourself, treat other’s well and be happy with your life.

Cheers to 2019!

Motivational Monday: Learning to Do Things In Our Own Time

If there is one thing I have learned from this entire year of 2018, it is that people will always do things in their own time. No matter how many people we seek (or not seek) advice from, people will always give their opinions of what you should or should not do with your life. The thing that I have learned is that you will only do things when you are ready to do them. Some decisions may seem simpler than others, however once you process them and can justify your own needs that is when you will make your own decisions.

Once you’ve decided to begin something, it can be easy to look back and wish you’d started earlier. However, you can’t start anything new if you aren’t in the right mind frame.

Sometimes dramatic events need to take place for your life to change and other times, you can get caught up with living a certain way until you are sick of it and decide to change. I think we become so used to making excuses for things even when we have a small interest in doing them, when if we would just start it might end up leading into something we’ve never dreamed of! Or that we might fall in love with doing whatever that thing is. If starting whatever it is that you want to start is seeming difficult, try taking small steps-write out what you want to start, begin for a short period of time to see how you like it and go from there. Whatever it is that’s on your mind that you want to begin, will continually come up until you start it! It’s your brains way of telling you what you NEED to be doing with your life! Whether that is eating healthier, going to bed earlier because you feel exhausted, starting a workout routine, changing jobs, beginning a hobby, whatever that feeling is, here is your permission to start.

I hope that for the New Year of 2019 you will look at things as easy to start because you listened to what you needed. I hope that whatever your desires are or feel your calling is, you can listen to yourself and begin to change. ❤

Motivational Monday: Promises to Myself

 I promise to listen to myself. You know those ideas that your mind keeps thinking of? They won’t go away until you listen to them and put into play what they are. The longer you ignore them (day after day, year after year) they’ll sit in the back of your mind. When your mind becomes clear they’ll appear. It is when you take action that those thoughts will be released. Once that happens, you’ll be able to drive upon those ideas and turn them into dreams and plans for yourself.

 I promise to always do what is best for me. Listening to yourself is the most important feeling in the world. It goes beyond what everyone else is doing, what the trends are-diets, clothes to buy, workouts, etc. You must know what makes you and your body feel the best then keep doing that.

 I promise to keep going. Dreaming is one thing but having plans are another. Your dreams can only go so far without a plan to action. Short or long term, all dreams and plans are important because you can’t get to one without the other. And, while everything seems hard in life, you must keep doing the work. If you give up, you end up going back to where you started. So, if you’ve already chosen to give up the life you’ve lived before, why would you want to go back? Remind yourself of this when times get hard and I promise you won’t want to go back.

 I promise to hold onto the people who get me. No matter what you do in life, everyone is going to have an opinion that you should be doing something different (even if you’re already doing what you enjoy). Very few people in this life will get you, so hold onto the one’s who do. The one’s who believe in your work, dreams and passion to fulfill your desires of doing more than you already are. Learn from the people who are in the midst of and accomplishing their dreams-manifest their lessons of the good times, the mistakes and hardships of what it takes. Listen to all their advice. Most importantly, cheer them on because they are the one’s who’ll continue to push you to your best self.

What promises do you make for yourself?

Lessons I’m Grateful For.

Recognizing that I’m the only person who can control my mood, mind and life.

You don’t need to compare your life to anyone else’s. Why? Because everyone’s life is different. No one can have the same life. Even if theirs is a life you envy right now, it may not always be that way, or it may appear different than it actually is.

Every loved one I’ve ever lost has reminded me that life is so short. Look at their life and replicate the things that made them happy.

Having a support system is the best thing in life-I’ve learned who I can trust that will listen and give advice and then be that person for others when needed.

I’ve learned how to be resourceful when it is necessary. When your entire life turns upside down and you must start from the beginning. It’s made me realize that everything will always be okay.

You know the quote, “Missing someone gets easier every day?” It’s not true. It sucks to miss someone you’ll never see again. I’ve learned to hold onto their memories, laugh about the good times and think about them often. Remembering all the things that you do to make them proud always helps me to do better in life.

People will let you down in life but know that you don’t have to be upset over it forever and can move on.

Realize people can change. Even when they’ve done hurtful things. Everyone can change but it is only on their own time. You can only do so much to help them. Only they can help themselves.

I’m thankful to recognize at 32 that I can live my life how I want and not under the pressure of anyone else. Everyone will have an opinion about my life but I’m the only person who knows what I need when I need it.

Most importantly, I’m thankful for the life I’ve lived because it has taught me that positivity is the only way to get through life. The day will end, and tomorrow is a new day. Spend each day doing things you enjoy, there is always something good in every day. ❤

Motivational Monday: Saying “I Don’t Know” Does Not Mean You Are Not Confident.

I was once screamed at for telling someone that I didn’t know something. They yelled, “Stop saying, I don’t know!” Having people in my life who’d yell at me when I didn’t know something made me feel bad about myself. I internalized their words by taking it out on myself and not ask for help.

That all changed when I had someone tell me that they say they don’t know something but can always find the answer. This made me realize that it IS OKAY to admit when you don’t know something. Asking people for help is good. You won’t know how to do everything in life, especially when starting something new, whether it is with work, cooking, working out, etc., you will spend your entire life learning. I’ve realized I’m attracted to people who are smart and the people who’ll tell me when they don’t know something but can find out the answer by asking the right people or researching the answers. I always feel better when I have people, I can rely on to ask questions or talk myself through the answer with someone else. You might even be the person someone reaches out to when they don’t know the answer, so be patient with them and help them learn.

Sometimes people get into a habit of telling others to do things but not explaining how. I’ve realized it is everyone’s job in life to speak up when they do not know something. It does not mean you are not smart, stupid or have no confidence. To be a confident person, you must ask questions. If people put you down for that, that is on them and not you. I’ve learned to ask how to do things then take notes to remember. If you don’t do the same things every day, chances are you won’t always remember them. I can barely remember what I did an hour after I’ve done it, ha.

I hope what you’ll take away from this is to ask questions, be the person someone else can talk to, always say thank you when someone helps you answer your question and remember: saying you don’t know does not mean you are not confident, it means you are being honest. Confidence comes when you let your walls down, admit what you don’t know but that you can always find the answer ❤
Happy Monday, Loves!

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